Tré Xavier’s Blog

Deleted Scenes From The MACT/NY Screening

     My last entry was about my attending a screening of my movie, “THE INTERVIEW”. This entry is to serve as an extra like you have on a DVD of a movie. When scenes are deleted from a movie, the reasons could be anything from including the scene would have made the movie too long, to including the scene would have ruined the mood or tone the director and/or storyteller was trying to tell. That is how the following deleted questions from my last post should be looked upon - like deleted scenes.

     The moods I was trying to set with my last entry were those of enjoyment, humorous inquisitiveness, and some of the usual sexual arousal. My first question set a mood of inquisitiveness, but not of a humorous nature. That question being:

 (1) Was I selected to be a representative for the movie, and if so by whom? I was the only person there involved in this production who is actually from the industry. Now, if my knowledge of the rules of etiquette are correct, shouldn’t Tyson Cane been involved in my appearing there, maybe even appeared there himself. Well, while researching this (YES “researching”, like for a news article) to find answers to some of my questions, it confirmed my assumption from a past email that Tyson Cane has relocated to Florida. Now attempts to contact Tyson were made by MACT/NY regarding making arrangements for this screening, but with no response from him. So the way I became selected as a representative was because my presence on the internet by way of my website and this blog gave MACT/NY a way to contact me. And believe me, I am not bothered by MACT/NY contacting me at all. I bothered at why it came down to me.

This question came to mind because I was asked by the Winner to bring copies of the DVD to sell. I’m not the one who should be asked about bringing DVDs to sell. Tyson Cane should. And if he’s not available, (once again) proper etiquette would be for him to ask me. The Winner is supposed to just sit back, and enjoy the evening without lifting a finger to make it happen. I did admit in a comment to a previous post that me and Tyson have gone our separate ways. However, anyone who knows me knows that I am professional enough to properly prioritize who the night of that screening was about. It was not about me. It was not about Tyson Cane. It was about the Winner of the auction showing off the fruit of his labor. Therefore, communicating with Tyson Cane on this matter would not have been an issue.

This leads to my next question which is: (2) Since my scene with Shorty J is the fruit of the Winner’s labor, why did he have to actually BUY his copy of “The Interview”? Yes, you read correct - buy his copy. And I had to buy my own as well. Now me and Tyson were on speaking terms when I did “The Booth”, and I had to buy that with money out of my pocket also, and “The Booth” was produced by the same company as “The Interview”. So my annoyance with having to purchase my own copies has come and gone. That’s why I will never work for that company again. But I was livid to discover that the Winner had to shell out money from his pocket to see his work come to fruition. Because (another rule of etiquette within this industry) you are entitled to a complimentary copy of the movie you worked in. I mean, he already shelled out money at the auction to become “Director For A Day”. Now, he has to put more money out to see his own work.

It’s not fair! And it’s not correct! Because it is a completely unprofessional display. A lack of courtesy not only to someone involved in the production, but even worse - to a fan. A fan who was giving at the auction to support MACT/NY in their attempts to lessen the racial and ethnic divide within the gay community. The Winner did tell me that Tyson Cane mentioned getting him a free copy, which he of course deserves.

But that leads to my last question that I don’t need to go into much detail as to why I’m asking it. That question being: Where is the lack of professionalism in this chain to make the night of the screening happen? Is it Tyson Cane, Alpha Dawgz Productions or both? Because to my knowledge, there is no mistaken that MACT/NY is in the clear on this matter. They did everything right to make that night happen considering the small amount of power they have in this matter.

     Now, if I am wrong, and there is something I don’t know that transpired during communication between these 3 parties, I will admit to my being misinformed by posting a blog without delay displaying that new information. Because I will not chastise someone on this blog due to being misinformed, and never exonerate them when the truth comes to light.

MACT/NY Screening of “The Interview”

     About a month or two ago, I was invited to attend a screening of one of my movies, “The Interview”, and I gladly accepted. I had never been to a screening of one of my movies before, and I wanted to see what it would be like.

    The way this screening came about was the last year, one of the Sea Teas was for MACT/NY(Men of All Colors Together NY). An auction was held for someone to win “Director For A Day” on a Tyson Cane movie. It turned out that the winner’s day to be “Director For A Day” was when I was doing my scene with Shorty J for “THE INTERVIEW”. I had no problem with that. Especially because it gave us both actors and director, a chance to find out what sexual acts aren’t being shown that the buying public wants to see. In this case, one of those things that the winner suggested was Armpit Play. I never played with armpits on-camera or off until that day. Now, I’ve actually started doing it in my off-camera sex life. Then again, it was bound to happen, because I’ve always been very much into licking various body parts before that. Maybe it was just a matter of time until I got to the armpits, or maybe the winner’s suggestion got me there a lot sooner than I expected. And things like that is why I welcomed his presence there. It was also the reason I was more than happy to make this appearance.

     The screening was held at a MACT/NY meeting at the LGBT Center. I was quite nervous for a variety of reasons. Like I said before, I never been to a screening of one of my porno movies before. Also, I knew there was going to be a room full of guys watching me fuck on a TV screen. YES, I KNOW as a Porn Actor that’s what happens. BUT usually not  with you (one of the performers) right there in the room - full of fully-clothed men at that. Heck, unlike most might expect, I haven’t even been to a sex party with my movie playing on the TV. So this was very much unknown territory for me.

     When the movie started, I didn’t expect to find myself getting excited, because to be honest, besides a select few, I’m not too into most of Tyson Cane’s models. Especially his Black models, but I feel that about most ethnic-porn companies. There’s an immense number of good-looking Black men out there, it’s just that most ethnic-porn companies don’t have them. With that in mind, I feel I’ve been very lucky with my scene partners most of the time, especially in this movie, because Shorty J is sexy as all hell. But the one person in another scene besides my own who I knew was going to spark some excitement in me was Stash.

I first saw Stash in a picture with Jason Taurus when Tyson Cane suggested casting me in Harold & Larry. BUT it wasn’t Stash who he wanted to pair me with, it was Jason. I wrote Tyson back and gave an OK, but made sure to let him know that if the other guy (Stash) tops to keep him in mind for me. Don’t get me wrong, I find Jason Taurus to be a good-looking guy, but he doesn’t spark my libido. Not the way Stash does. Me and Stash actually came face-to-face when I was doing “The Booth”. We ran some dialogue together, and if you notice my eyes while running that dialogue, I’m sure you’ll see how much more I wanted him to be my sex scene partner than who I was actually paired with. And Tyson Cane was aware of it too, because from the time Stash showed up and several times after, Tyson kept telling me that he’s not my scene partner. Now since I’m not deaf and very attentive when working, I heard him the 1st time, so repeating it was only annoying the fuck out of me. And when you look at Stash, you can see why. As I’ve often said before, I’m no size-queen, so Stash’s big cock is not why I wanted to get fucked by him so bad and made me have to brace myself for watching his scene with Peanut so my woody didn’t bust out of my pants. It’s the fact that he’s a cute guy with a great ass.

Well, I survived watching the scene. Now watching the scenes without me I tried to put my mind elsewhere. As far as my scenes are concerned, I actually found myself laughing at some points, because when I’m doing a scene, the words I say come out of my mouth for 2 reasons and in this order of priority: because (1) they’re words that just came to my mind as something that I think the tops viewing it would like to hear as a top, and the bottoms would like to say themselves; and (2) I’m really enjoying the fuck that guy is putting on me. So when I hear some of the things I say, it takes me back to either how much of a show I had to put on because the guy was really a dud instead of a stud, or how little of  show I had to put on because that guy really knew how to fuck. Luckily, the reasons for all that you hear me say during my scenes in “THE INTERVIEW” does not have to be prioritized, because they’re about equal. But during the final scene, I’m such a fan of group sex, reason #2 started to become reason #1.

     There was a point during the middle when the had a bit of an intermission, and to my surprise the Winner gave me the floor to answer some questions. That made me really nervous. While answering one of the questions, I found myself rambling, but then got back on track. Thank God for porn. For me anyway, because as I’ve said before, it’s how I found my voice and actually helped my public speaking and improvisational skills by way of public appearances. So giving me a chance to fine tune those skills again is another reason why I THANK MACT/NY so much for having me and making me feel welcome.

     After the screening, I took some photos with the winner and some of the members of MACT/NY. So it was a fun night, and one I won’t forget no time soon.

You can go back and read my accounts of 2 days shooting “THE INTERVIEW” by going to the following entries:

“The Interview” Shoot - Day 1, “The Interview” Shoot - Day 2, More From The Set of “The Interview”

Return To AllMaleParty

I did a new blog entry for Pitbull’s ThugPornBlog.com about my return to the AllMaleParty.com events. Check it out by clicking here, then come back to this page to leave a comment if you like. Enjoy.

For “Tre By Tre” - THANKS

     Let me start this entry off by saying THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your kind words about my new gallery, Tre By Tre. When I decided to do these new pics, I had no idea that they would be such an intimate look at the style and taste that makes me who I am. So I was quite floored by comments pointing that out to me. Such as how you now see the bed I had sex with the German on, or realizing the TV that I watch my porn inspirations on. Because I always saw that over the years while taking note of how a photographers’ work shows who they are and what they may be all about. But I never thought of myself as a photographer, so while doing this photoshoot, the thought of you guys seeing me in that light went completely over my head.

     To show my appreciation for your thoughts on my new gallery, I decided to show you some of the pics that did not make the final cut in being displayed for one reason or another. Mainly, because I didn’t want to overfill the gallery. So since I do value your opinions, if you think I should replace one pic already in the gallery for one of these, let me know. And if you can point out specifics as to why I should make the switch, that would be great. Since the pictures in this gallery are show such true various intimate sides of me, I want you all to see that honesty in a way that you enjoy watching. THANKS AGAIN.

Was My NY Pride Just Another Sunday?

     With all the complaints about my not posting a blog about NY Pride, although I said I would write one (1) more important issues surfaced, and for those complaining to not take a note of that, has me a bit disappointed; and (2) my response to a comment about it made me realize my experience really wasn’t so important. To go more in depth, I show my pride in not just my being gay, but my being a part of the human race with practically every blog I write. And what I’m about to write regarding my experience will be no different. I’ll talk about feeling good to be a part of it, who I caught up with and met new there, and who there could have ravished me just by saying the word.

So let me start with those easy things in 1 paragraph only.

     I felt great to be there. Even though I myself am not an escort, I was surrounded by guys who do provide a service that some of you wish I did, but I myself don’t feel comfortable doing just yet. While there, I was glad to come fact-to-face with Barrett Long, who is actually a real jokester, and Chad Leigh who spanked me with a little board people from the Pleasure Chest were giving out. Of course you know, it would have also been my pleasure to be spanked with more than that board. And I had reunions with the always sweet Spike and Vin Nolan. When I get with just 1 of these guys, I know I’m going to have fun. My only regret by being a part of the parade is that I don’t get to see all the other floats and marchers who make up the immense diversity within the gay community. Now, the reason I treat Pride Sunday like any other day is because unfortunately there are so many stereotypical gay men out there, they don’t take notice of that diversity. And my knowing the fact of that shallow mindset is going to piss me off even more so during Pride week. So basically, my treating it like any other day or week is my way to keep my calm.

     After the Pride March, I went to the Pier Dance. I was hoping to meet up with some friends there whose roof party I was going to attend after. My assumption was that because of the time, they would already be there. It actually turned out being that we were both on line trying to get in, and I was a tad closer than they were. My friends who were having the roof party, and live within walking distance of the Pier Dance, left about 8:30 to go home and prepare for the party. So I stayed there until the end. An end that I was disappointed by, because of the very brief fireworks display this year.

     I got to my friends’ place sometime before 11. My friend (who’s from my day job) is a great host, so I knew the starvation I was feeling was about to be cured. And boy was it! Between the crackers, dips, and mostly everyone’s favorite, shrimp cocktail, plus they actually had sandwiches at the Pier Dance, so by the end of the night, the starvation I was suffering from during the Pride March was more than cured.

     As always with my friend, I met some new faces. One new face in particular caught my attention, but he seemed pre-occupied with someone else - at least for that night. He was actually one of the first to leave - alone. I’ve mentioned before that through getting into porn, I found my voice. That voice includes my being more aggressive in getting what I want. And if I can’t get it, to some extent you will at least know to that I want it. And this was one of those times.

As the guy was leaving, he hugged everyone goodbye, including those he barely talked to like myself. So when it became my turn to get a hug, I thought that since I’ll probably never see him again, I should give him some sign to let him know I find him adorable. As I was sitting on a bench, he came and hugged me from behind. So I reached back and held his head close to me, and while holding his head, I gave him a little massage. His face was buried into my shoulder, but I could still hear him say, “That feels good.”

And I told him, “You’re so adorable.” We then smiled at each other, he continued his round of hugging the other guests, then left.

Now, we never exchanged numbers, nor did we go through our mutual friend to find each other. It actually happened by accident. Or was it fate? I won’t go into details of how exactly we came in contact with each other until I feel we have something going somewhere worth talking about. So either way, after emails on MySpace and very recent talks on the phone, we came face-to-face with each other exactly 1 month to the day that we first spoke to each other. It was after midnight, so technically we first spoke on June 25th, and we made and kept our plans to meet at Porno Bingo on July 25th. I will only say that he left with me, and spent the night at my place. Once again, if he’s worth it more details will follow.

     Now, as you see from the paragraph about the March, there was no real story to tell. The real story that made it more than just another Sunday is what happened after the Pride March that sparked something worth talking about an entire month later.

Or is it?

Getting Out The Kinks: Step To Me - WET!

     I know I’ve mentioned it before. My love of the sight of wet hot guys. I love it to the point that I’m writing this blog entry with a hard-on because of all the images flashing through my mind to inspire all I’m about to say.

     I don’t know what started this kink of mine, or how many people share it. Maybe it’s because although I’m an Aries (which is a fire sign), my rising sign is Pisces, a water sign. Most Pisces and others I know who are water signs, have expressed interest in sexual and romantic scenarios involving water, which is what brings me to that conclusion about water signs being a factor.

     It doesn’t matter how he got wet. A guy being drenched in the rain is about the only time my kink for wetness gets turned on by a man being fully-clothed. His shirt clinging to his body showing definition of his body that would be a mystery to you on a sunny day. The day I started writing this was such a day in New York City where I saw so many cute guys with their dress shirts & T-shirts clinging to them. Therefore, it’s not hard to believe that my 10-minute walk from the WTC PATH Station to my day job had me searching for a comfort-zone because I had a hard-on for most of the walk.

A guy taking a shower is a sexy scene. Occasionally, I can get turned on by a wet T-shirt here. BUT don’t wear anything below the waist, and that includes underwear. I’ve taken showers with guys and although I’ve experienced it on a few occasions, everytime I step into a shower with a guy, I ALWAYS WANT HIM TO FUCK ME - HARD. I want to feel and hear those splashes of water from each time his wet groin slams into my wet ass.

Now we usually shower to get rid of sweat. For me, there’s no hurry. The only reason you may have to rush to the shower if you’re sweaty is because of the odor you might have picked up from the environment you were in before hand. Otherwise than that, I’m commanding him to take off his clothes, and get more drenched with sweat by putting in a workout on my ass.

The main body parts I yearn to feel when wet are the ass and dick. Me, loving a wet ass? That’s no surprise. But being that I’m not a size queen, you may be surprised to know that something like simple wetness makes me hunger for a guy’s cock. I love going down on a guy with a wet cock, be it hard or soft, and no matter why it’s wet - I want it in my mouth. It could be by the shower, sweat, piss, pre-cum, even pussy juice. And I’ve had a cock in my mouth wet by all of those things, but pussy juice. Well, if that bi-3-way or orgy I’m hoping for ever comes my way - it will be my lucky day.

     Once again, I’ll leave you with some pics to further your understanding of the latest edition of my “Getting Out The Kinks” series. Or may you have had it all along, and just didn’t realize it. Now you know. Enjoy.

Blame Dateline NBC? Blame Your Guilt-Ridden Brother!

I was skimming through the newspaper the other day, and came across something that makes me disgusted with our court system. I believe you have seen at one point or another that I try to come out to the defense and/or understand the underdog. With that in mind, it might not surprise you that I at one time considered becoming a lawyer. As I watched more news while getting older, I realized the American court system would have made my being an attorney be for naught. And it become obvious I made the right decision for myself recently.

A few short months ago some of you may have seen Dateline NBC had a “To Catch A Predator” episode that showed them closing in on a 56 year-old prosecutor with a 20-year law enforcement career for going online to try and solicit sex from a male minor, when the minor was in fact a decoy from the organization Perverted Justice. When the police came to prosecutor’s house to arrest him, the prosecutor shot himself in the head and died. Now, the prosecutor’s sister plans on suing NBC for $100,000,000.

My question is why is she allowed to file such blatant ignorance with our courts and waste taxpayers’ money?

This is why I chose not to be a lawyer. I would not have become a lawyer displaying my intellect and savvy for a court system that plays the biggest part of being an enabler of a crime like child molestation. Actually letting this woman waste taxpayers’ time and money to play the blame game for her brother’s child-damaging perversions.

After all, a move like this from her, gives us a deeper look into how this prosecutor was able to display sick behavior like this for so long. Maybe they’re from a family of abusers themselves or a well-to-do family. And in both cases, taking responsibility for the consequences of their bad actions is not something they usually know how to do. But whatever the case may be, no matter what wrong-doings our families do to us that can cause us to do some unseemly things later, we as adults have the innate responsibility of undoing that damage, so we don’t pass that suffering on to others in no way, shape, or form. And her brother in not taking that responsibility, ran from his rightful punishment and killed himself.

So what NBC aired the progress of the arrest? My feeling is and always has been, if you’re going to be ashamed being caught doing something, then you shouldn’t be doing it. Just as some people later wants to hide their past in porn, you should of thought of that before you did it. And so should that prosecutor showing himself to be the biggest hypocrite of all. Supposedly defending the welfare of the public he’s suppose to serve, yet he himself endangers the welfare of a child. I mean, he got caught because of a decoy this time, but how many times before was there when an actual minor’s welfare was endangered?

This may seem cold, but it is beyond honest. If this prosecutor’s sister wants someone to blame, then she should blame her dead brother for being unable to deal with the damage he would have caused to a youngster and/or the damage he has already caused. Even though what her brother was doing was appalling to say the least, I do wholeheartedly understand her grief. Yet she needs to get real. NBC’s cameras being present did not kill her brother. His guilt that he should have for what he did is what killed him.

In researching for this blog, I went to one website that lacked such humanity through journalism that I won’t even mention their name or address. In trying to say NBC sensationalized this incident, they actually compared this to the incident on “The Jenny Jones Show” about 12 years ago. The incident I’m talking about is when on her show she had same-sex crushes, and after the show the object of the crush shot and killed his admirer.

There is no comparison.

That incident was between 2 adults. Now, if the admirer actually knowingly outed the object of his affection on national TV, then (once again as it may seem cold, but beyond honest) I feel no sorrow for the admirer because he crossed a line. These boys that this prosecutor may have solicited sex from however, don’t have the full adult logic on their side that should tell them what lines not to cross. So although I don’t wish death upon anyone, since he was too cowardice to face his punishment, I look at that prosecutor’s self-inflicted gunshot wound as self-inflicted justice.

Tré By Tré - A Gallery Preview

     I don’t know how many of you know this, but some of the 1st photos for my website were taken by me. In fact, while most of those photos are gone from the site, some are still there. The background of some of my pages like the index, update, and galleries pages were taken and edited by me, as well as the 1st 2 pics in my Erotic gallery.

     I felt that 2 years later, that although I haven’t really changed my look, it was time for new photos. Now, I could have went the usual route of hiring a photographer, but 2 things made me say, “No”. For (1) that’s expensive; (2) I like designing and creating scenarios in drawings and writing (and according to many including some of you guys, I’m good at it), so I thought why not put those skills into photography; and (3) I wanted to be seen in a very specific variety of ways for my new photos. Therefore, with the skills to make it possible, why shouldn’t I do it myself?

     My 1st visit to Lucas Entertainment and Tyson Cane Videos came by way of those first photos I took myself. When asked who took the photos, my response was of course, “Me”. I didn’t think I was Herb Ritts or Joe Oppedisano, but I did think they were pretty good for an amateur photographer. I don’t know if he was just being polite, but Michael Lucas did seem to agree with me. Tyson Cane’s response however was, “They’re not very good.” And he even poked fun at the fact that I had to set the timer and jump in front of the camera to strike a pose, and get the shot. Which I’m sure you have to agree is a tactless move when you’re talking to a model that you know is just srtarting out. I could go deeper into what those words show about his psyche, but that would be getting off the topic. Therefore, in continuing, I made sure his words did not lessen my self-confidence in how good I could make these photos. With color editing that took less than 10 seconds per photo, and no abuse of make-up, so far I have gotten nothing but positive responses to my new photos. And that’s before I tell then that I’m the photographer. As was the case with the 2 photos of mine that I was autographing at Will Clark’s Bad Boys On The Hudson.

     I designed this gallery to have a gallery within the gallery. That is due to how a part of the gallery pays homage to some “1st’s” of mine. Those “1st’s” are companies that I have done some kind of work since assuming the “Tre Xavier” persona.

     I paid homage to:

     Fuse TV’s “Pants-Off Dance-Off”: My appearance on the 1st season of the show “Pants Off Dance Off” was my 1st appearance on any kind of mainstream television since assuming the persona of “Tre Xavier”. At the end of the taping on their dance routine, contestants like myself were given the bath towel that I’ll be wearing in the bathroom pics.

     Dark Alley Media: Although the main studio distributor of “69 Fuck Street” is Private Media, my being able to be a part of it was done by the production’s sub-contractor, Dark Alley Media. Therefore, they stand as the 1st and only company to date open-minded enough to offer me a porn video venture outside the ethnic-themed genre. And with Dark Alley Media in mind, one would know that leather is one of the fetishes that they display in some of their films. Therefore, me showing off my leather harness is a great symbolism to show my appreciation.

     Michael Lucas’ Dangerous Liaisons: I only have 1 1/2 pics for this tribute. So the above pic can be considered the half.  I would have elaborated more on the idea besides the other 1 whole photo, but I was only an no-name extra, unlike how I was for his production of “La Dolce Vita”. My stint as an extra in the final scene of “Michael Lucas’ Dangerous Liaisons” was my 1st time ever on the set of a porn film. I used it to see if the same kind of professionalism I’ve been able to experience on mainstream entertainement set could also exist on a porn set. And in New York, a Lucas Entertainment production was, and still is the only known place to go for an answer. So if you’ve seen the menu of the DVD and the photos featured in “Dangerous Liaisons”, you’ll notice TV sets made their way into quite a few shots. Hence the reason I used my TV set as a prop in a couple of my own pics. I even came up with a story idea involving TV sets when I pictured those pics in my head. And being that my story idea isn’t as typical as you might think, I’ll only reveal that story idea upon an agreement with a studio that I play one of the eager bottoms.

So I hope you like the gallery when it debuts this Wednesday, July 25th. 

My Interview For DList.com

Last Thursday evening, I did an interview for DList.com. Check out what my answers were to their at times sexy, and other times poignant questions.

http://news.dlist.com/2007/07/13/tre-xavier/

Although I was a bit nervous, I think I held my own.

What do you think?

July 4th MORNING Fireworks

     On July 3rd, I went out to 2 places. It was originally planned to be just one, which was a Special Sperm event at Big Lug, but at the last minute, I saw on my MySpace page a bulletin from Tommy G from Macho Mondays at Boysroom saying that he was having an event at Boysroom that night as well. Well, considering how lustful I am for Tommy G’s go-go boys, I figured if Big Lug turned out not to be enough, I would out Boysroom a little later. Which was no problem considering the fact that they were no more than 7 short blocks away from each other.

     As soon as I walked into Big Lug, I saw this hot go-go boy dancing on the bar showing his ass, so he got me horny as hell right away. I was planning on getting a drink at some point so I could have another reason to go to the bar besides tipping him so I could cop a feel of his ass. Never mind his dick and balls (which seemed to fill his jockstrap quite nicely), just that ass that he spread his legs apart on the bar to show how profoundly round his cheeks are. But believe it or not, I never got around to it. I had fun at Big Lug, and I probably would have had more if I had stayed, but I was in an insatiable mood to see more hot go-go boys, so I ventured over to Boysroom, and this is where the story gets more interesting.

     Just like Macho Mondays at Boysroom, Tommy G had go-go boys everywhere of all types - tall, short, slim, muscular, light, and dark. Whatever your type in Black and Latino men your eyes like to view, your taste would have been satisfied. I had a couple of them trying to get me to pay for a lap-dance out of me, and I was so tempted to say “Yes”. But I refrained. I did tip them though and copped a feel of their ass. Making up for what I didn’t do at Big Lug.

As the night went on, I just stood around checking out the scenery and all the hot guys that were patrons at the bar. One guy was dancing, and I’ve mentioned before, I LOVE GUYS WHO CAN DANCE. It gives me ideas of how rhythmic they are when fucking. I especially like it in a White American, because compared to Europeans, the number of White American guys that can actually dance gets me a bit disappointed sometimes. I will admit however, that some of those guys lacking rhythm have given me a fuck to remember.

I wasn’t sure but I thought he caught me checking him out, and that he was doing the same. Later on, I moved from where I was standing to avoid looking like a statue, and I wound up even closer to him. He was dancing with a female friend of his. At one point, he was quite close to me. While dancing, he turned in my direction and this time there was no doubt that he looked right at me. I just gave a shy smile, and buried my head. When I looked up again, he was still dancing then looked my way again. This time, he walked over to me, and started dancing with me. Within a minute, I found myself up against the wall feeling his body and him feeling mine. I was thinking, “How the hell did we wind up this close so fast?” He went to dance with his female friend, then came back to me again. This time he kissed me, and started feeling my ass. You know I only returned the favor. His ass was very nice might I add. He had such a sexual energy that engulfed me so much, he made me hungry more. “More” as in his dick. He opened his mouth, and with no insult to Americans, and I was not surprised to hear an European accent. He asked me my name, and I introduced myself with my real name. I asked him his and where he was from, and he turned out being from Germany. Hmmm, does this mean that Germans really do like Black men? Well, it did this night.

He wanted to come home with me. I wanted him to, but my place was still a mess from moving in. And when I say “mess”, I mean “MESS“. He said he was staying at his friend’s place with her Grandmother. So that was not an option. So he suggested that we walk his friend to the train station, and take it from there.  Along the way, I said to myself, ” You knew you were going to meet a hot guy tonight. So take him home. Why esle would you have just nicely made your bed before you left (but with mismatch sheets), and put a spare towel in the bathroom. So take him home. He won’t disturb anyone with his walking around because he’ll only be in your room. Especially since you don’t share a bathroom like your roommates. It’s all yours. So damnit man, let someone else finally shoot a load in your room besides you!”

And then some of this paragraph from “Quick Answers Because Time Flies” came into my head:

     In regards to my life in Jersey City. It’s nothing special. I didn’t say much before because all I did was sleep in the place. Instead of live like I plan on doing in my new place. I had a roommate before, and now I have 2 roommates. Before I had no overnight guest over, mainly because my roommate didn’t have overnight guest. And he had every right to, because he owned the place. This time, my roommate are just tenants like me, and I’m actually decorating my room (as well as its a prvate bathroom) with the intent to have some action on a few occasions.

So before he got his friend to the train station, I agreed to let him come home with me. After we got her on the train, we walk another couple of blocks to the PATH train. En route to the PATH, he asked me my age. And as always, I had no shame in saying 36. He looked at me in shock, so I returned the question.

Talk about robbing the cradle! The reason he was so shocked was because his sweet self complimenting me on how I didn’t look like I was even in my 30’s, was only 20 years old going on 21 himself. He was 15 years younger than me.

We hopped on the PATH, then took the 15 minute walk to my place. Although, I did offer a cab ride first. Instead, he opted to enjoy the scenery of the sky being colored by the sun just coming up being that it was about 5 AM on the morning of July 4th. At one point, right in the middle of our walk down a block, he stopped to kiss me. We had no real fear because no one was out there. Just a car passing here and there really.

We got to my place, and I told him to wait in my hall for a couple of minutes. I ran in real quick to make a path for him to walk to the bathroom when he needed to. You see, any one who has lived in the middle of a self-induced mess for any length of time knows how to manuevers themselves around the mess, but a guest would trip over it on their 1st step. So once I let him in, IT WAS ON.

     We got undressed, and just as I predicted - he was UNCUT. I love playing with foreskin when I’m giving a blowjob, or jerking a guy off. So he had 3 things going for him - rhythm, great ass, and an uncut cock. An uncut cock that reveal a nice smooth head that I so enjoyed sucking on. And licking his frenulum making his muscles in his dick contract so that I thought I was going to make him cum in my mouth. Which would be a bad thing, but he had fucked me yet. During the first fuck, at one point he thought he came. He said that never happened to him before. That had me wondering “what did I do to this guy?” Especially since I was laying on my stomach. But I did contract my ass every once and awhile to squeeze his cock. Every time I do that to a guy, they tell me to stop, because it makes them so close to cumming. So he pulled out, and realized he didn’t come after all. He only had the orgasm, but no ejaculation. So we then started jerking off, and he was wondering if I wanted him to cum on me. I told him, “Fuck yeah!”

And I got just what I asked for. His cum load was worthy of porn stardom. I have never gotten a cumbath like that before in my life. His jizz shot so far and so much, it was all over my chest, then the end of it went on my stomach.

By the way, YES - I did say “the 1st fuck”, because we shot our loads twice from fucking then jerking off, and a 3rd load from only jerking off.

We then showered, got dressed and he went to his friend’s place, and I went to visit my Mom in Brooklyn.

When we were in the bathroom together, I couldn’t help but consider having him fuck me there. In either, the shower or him bending me over my bathroom counter and watching the expression on our faces in the mirror while he fucks my ass. The same way Sergio Anthony did while getting pounded by Jack Ryan in “RAW“. I guess I’ll save that scenario for someone else.

     So at long last, there was some sexual fireworks going off in my place between me and someone else. And on the morning of July 4th of all days. Who would have thunk it?

Mason Wyler Doppelganger

     A couple of summers ago, one of my Friday night spots was Area 10019 at Opaline. I went there one Friday, and just when I went down in the basement where they were playing Pop and R & B, I got approached in less than 10 minutes. The guy had brown hair, a little husky, and was kind of cute. He came over and said, “hi”. He asked if I was having fun. I told him I just got there. He asked where I was from. I told him I was from Brooklyn, and how I was a rare breed being a native New Yorker. He said he was from Kentucky. We then exchanged names. We stood around saying nothing for about 5 minutes, then this well-built blond came over to him, and started talking to him. I couldn’t hear what they were saying with the music blasting, but I noticed the brown-haired one looked over at me, then the blond looking at me. The blond then came over, and we then started talking. Next thing I knew, we were dancing. He started holding me. I started holding him. His hand slipped down to feel my ass. And being the ass-man I have constantly confessed to being, you know I copped a feel of his juicy butt.

It isn’t new to me to talk to one guy, then wind up with his friend. I met the first guy I dated after coming out that same way. I talking to his friend, his friend disappeared, then he moved in for the kill (so to speak). So this night was going the same way. Me and the blond went everywhere together that night. The bar, the bathroom, and made out a little bit on the roof. Without the music blaring, I was really able to take notice of his voice and the sexy Southern drawl that came with it. My initial dirty thought about getting laid by him was that I was going to have some KFC tonight throbbing in my mouth and ass. KFC in this case standing for “Kentucky Fried Cock”.

It has always been a fantasy of mine to maybe vacation in the South, and hook up with a cowboy, ranch-hand or farm-hand. Let him take me into a barn or the stables. Get naked and lay down a blanket or our clothes out on some hay. And let him ride my ass with all the vigor he would use to ride a buckin’ bronco. So with the blond, I may not be getting the ride on real hay, but I was anticipating the same vigor in the bed of his hotel room that he took me too later.

The first time I recall seeing Mason Wyler was on CorbinFisher.com about a year ago. He was a top fucking Logan. I loved his body, and the fact that he moaned right along with Logan. That was such a turn-on because for some reason, in gay and straight porn most American men are quiet while they’re fucking, and that works my nerves so fucking much. European men seem to share my sentiment. That sentiment being - if you like that hole, make a sound to show that you like how it wraps around your cock. My few American partners probably wished I would’ve shut the fuck up, because if I’m my usual bottom self, I tell him repeatedly how much I love his cock in me, and when I top, I tell him how good his ass makes me feel, and kiss him repeatedly for having an ass that feels so good. So Mason Wyler as a top, is that rare American top that I like. Too bad that since then I’ve only heard of him as a bottom.

The reason I brought up Mason Wyler is because when I first saw Mason Wyler, I thought he looked like someone met before. And he did, he looked like the Southern blond from Area 10019 @ Opaline. I know I’ve mentioned this theory before, but since I’ve come to realize that people who look alike tend to act alike, I come to theorize as to whether or not people who look alike tend to fuck alike. Well, from what I see of Mason Wyler in his movies, and how the Southern blond was with me, I may be on to something.

When me and the blond started making out in his hotel room, before our clothes were completely off, he was moaning so much I thought he was going to shoot a load before he got to fuck me. And that would not have been a good thing. He was actually sharing his hotel room with a friend, who came and interrupted us while we were naked under the covers. So we then took our playtime into the bathroom. He wanted me to fuck him, but at the time I was not as versatile as I am now. But with the nice ass he had like Mason Wyler, if I could turn back time, I would go back and pound that ass to make it shake like jelly. But instead, my ass got pounded to shake like jelly, and he was so loud while fucking me in that bathroom, I was sure his friend could hear us, no matter how asleep he was supposed to be. Loud, (once again) just like his look-alike Mason Wyler.

I obviously so enjoyed that fuck that I can remember so many of the details from how it came to be to the act itself 2 years later. What shocks me most of all is that for the life of me, I can’t remember that blond’s name. And good fucks like him, I usually remember their names for a long time.

With all the evidence from that experience, do you think I solved the mystery as to whether or not people who look alike fuck alike. If I have, then here’s to Mason Wyler - May you top more often in your movies, because the evidence to support my theory shows that you have a cock that is definitely worthy of praise.

I Was A REAL Bad Boy On The Hudson

     Sunday night was my 2nd year performing at Will Clark’s Bad Boys On The Hudson Sea Tea. To all of you who live in or near New York City, and showed up, I’m sure I speak for Will Clark, The Anti-Violence Project (the beneficiary of the event), and myself when I say, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. And a Special Thanks from me goes out to J. Travis of NY Health & Racquet Club for the guest passes, you’re a life saver.

     The event started off with the selling of raffle tickets to win a gift from one of us Pornstars. Each Pornstar was paired with an AVP Volunteer. I was trying to decide whether to pair myself with a male or female volunteer. I chose one of the cute male volunteers. Considering the event, I was in a “flirt with boys” mode, so having a cute guy at my side helped motivate that mode. Last year, there were more Pornstars to the point that for selling the raffle tickets, we were match 2 Pornstars & 1 AVP Volunteer. That time, I was matched with a female volunteer and one of my “69 Fuck Street” scene partners, Duke Rivers. And with Duke Rivers’ having such an outgoing personality, all I had to do really was be eye candy. This year was so different because it turned out both me and the AVP Volunteer were shy guys. We were both nervous as hell at selling, but we got a rhythm going with it that worked pretty quickly, so it got much easier to approach people and make a pitch very soon after we started. The raffle ticket prices were 1 for $1, 6 for $5, tickets measuring from guest’s crotch to the floor for $10, and tickets measuring from Pornstar crotch to the floor for $20. Imagine how much more the combined shyness of me and the AVP Volunteer got put aside when our 1st 2 sales were for the $20 deal. Yes, 2 guys in a group opted to buy tickets measuring from my crotch to the floor. If you guys are reading this, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

     Now, what everyone really came on the cruise for was the burlesque show. If that’s what you want to call it? We performers got each other quite motivated before we each went on. After dressing into my show gear, I eased into the action going on between Jay Black and Ty Hudson. And cameras were a-flashin’ and a-rollin’. I was paired to go on with Ty Hudson, and Jay Black was scheduled to go on right before us. So once Jay left, it was just me and Ty. Oh boy! I’m sure you can agree that when you see and touch a Pornstar in real-life, you get quite taken by the reality of their physique. Well, that was me with Ty. My Gosh, this man has muscles! And he used them all on me. Some before going on stage, and the rest once we went on. And everyone who was there knows I’m teling the truth. We made out, and had simulated sex before going on where he lifted me up. Usually, when a guys lifts me up like while dancing at a club, I’m scared to death, and forming a landing pattern in my head just in case the sex-crazed jerk fucks up and drops me. With Ty Hudson, I didn’t have that fear. He’s sex-crazed. And who wasn’t on that boat? But he knew what he was doing and I immediately sensed that and felt at ease with him. Good thing,too. Especially once we took to the stage, where he, as Bell Biv Devoe said in the 90’s, he “slapped it, flipped it, and rubbed it down” for everyone to see. What everyone didn’t see was me getting hard. I don’t often get too hard when I’m in motion like I was up there. But I was getting closer to that hard-on near the end when I groped and stroked any ass of my fellow Pornstar that was near by. Like Scott Spears or Duke Rivers, or why not get another feel of Ty Hudson.

     The vibe that was there Sunday, was not like last year’s. Last year, we were “Bad Boys”, but not “BAD BOYS” like we were this year. This year had the very vibe that made me hope to be on that stage one day after seeing it as a patron 2 years ago. And that vibe, as I mentioned it doing during the filming of “69 Fuck Street”, hit me hard. I grinded more on that stage and goosed my ass up more that night than I have done while dancing for a D-List party. And Jeff Eason of WilsonModels.com agreed. Who better to ask considering he’s seen me in action at both events.

Speaking of goosing my ass up, some guys took advantage of that and rimmed me senseless. And I’m ain’t mad at ya. If you tipped for it, you earned it. Those same guys came up to me during the autograph signing, and told me my ass tasted so great. There’s a reason for that. If anyone who reads this is either from ID Lube or knows someone from ID Lube, pass this word along to the powers that be over there -”Tre Xavier should be a spokesmodel for your flavored line”. You see, the reason my ass tasted so great was because in preparation, I put some of ID’s Tangerine-flavored lube in and around my asshole. I didn’t know it would work, but evidently it did.

     I wasn’t sure how this year was going to turn out, consdering the absence from the stage of so many performers that I’ve come to know and enjoy through Will Clark. Perfomers like Jason Dean, Kyle Douglas, and Pete Ross, as well as Spike and Manuel Torres who were in attendance, but not up to performing. But it turned out being way better than I expected. I guess there was a part of me doing as they say “hoping for the best, but expecting the worst”. I know I wasn’t expecting the worst, but I definitely wasn’t expecting it to be this phenomenally good. I hope you all enjoyed it, as much as I did, if not more so. Let’s see what next year holds in store.

You can see some pics from the evening by clicking below:

 http://vincentlambert.blogspot.com/2007/07/tonight-will-clarks-bad-boys-on-hudson.html

Fireworks Will Continue On 69 Fuck Street

I hope you had a GREAT JULY 4th!  And may the fireworks still continue to fly in celebration!  

I’ve blogged about it numerous times, and it finally on it’s way to being able to be in your hands. I no longer have to refer to it as “the movie I did for Dark Alley Media”, or “the movie I did for Man-Size/Dark Alley Media”, because I finally found out the title. The title of the movie is 69 Fuck Street.

     Of course you know I have been excited about this one for quite a while now, as it’s my first step out of ethnic porn. And while I enjoy doing ethnic porn, I’m not a creature of habit. Therefore, when I choose to experience something (like working in the porn industry), I want to experience it from many positions and angles. Basically, just like I do with sex.

     Until it’s release, here are some screenshots from the movie of the 5-man orgy I’ve blogged so much about. Maybe they’ll keep you sweating with anticipation.

Could there be any mistake as to whose ass that is in the background? And considering all the action going on around me, it shouldn’t be a surprise that it’s stuck out waiting for someone (or a couple of guys) to enter. 

My Apologies For Anonymous

     I am writing this entry to apologize for the confrontation you may have had to witness when reading the comments of my last entry. Im my year and a half of doing this blog, I have never sent a reader away. But if you look at the things Anonymous falsely accused me of, you’ll see why it was necessary.

He accused me of deleting “SO many comments”, which is false. I deleted Muscum’s and Outjock’s, because they got off the topic at hand. Then it was only right that I delete my own for responding. He accused me of not being able to take criticism, which I take from you guys constantly. Did I delete your comments against Igor when I was trying to believe in him? NO, because you stuck to the topic whether I liked what you had to say or not. I may have showed anger and tried my best to defend my feelings, but your comments remained. And I already stated how some criticisms can cross a line. When you try to tell someone their sexual identity when there are no actions before your very eyes to support your theory, you are crossing a line.  Now if you call a guy “bi” who does gay porn but claims he’s straight , then you may be on to something, because the evidence is in front of your face. He fucked a guy to the point that he shot a load, and it’s on film or video as evidence to support your theory long after you’ve left the face of this earth. With that in mind, my saying I’m bi with a gay preference is just something you’re going to have to deal with until the day I decide to fuck a woman for all of you to see. 

     Based on his mode of attack, my suspicions about Anonymous is that he’s someone I know. His attacks seemed aimed too much at who I am inside to be a former fan. He may for all I know, be someone in the industry. After all, if he’s in the industry, with me having a new movie about to come out, he just might know that now would be a good time to discredit me. OR maybe it’s sheer coincidence. I do have some suspects that I want to name so badly, but if I’m right, I’ll let time tell it.

So once again, my apologies to you are. Keep being the thinkers that you are, and tell me your thoughts on that matter whether I agree or not.

The Gays vs. The Straights: Responding To Ka-os

     If you read “The Gays vs. The Straights” and its 1st comment, then you realized that me and my friend Ka-os are at odds on this issue. Let me start off by saying, I understand a great many of his points of view. What troubles me and makes me need to write this enlongated response is that I don’t want my friend or anyone else to walk around with anger over the bigotry we must ensue. So I hope this helps.    

     I admit there is a war between gays and straights. Therefore, my wording may have been wrong. What I probably should have said is that there’s a battle within the war of Gays vs. Straights that makes no sense. Because while the war makes no sense, This battle within the war of not seeing the beauty of romance and sex between other orientations outside your own makes even less sense. It has come off to me as a shallow way of not dealing with the bigger issue. And I am well aware that there are straight people who don’t see the beauty of gay and bi romance and sex. And the when I wrote “The Gays vs. The Straights”, I was to trying to encourage that we gays and bis do the opposite, because it takes 2 sides to be at war and engage in a battle. I wrote this blog to encourage the feeling that I have. That feeling being that if a straight person, scoffs at the sight of me kissing, making love, fucking, and saying “I love you” to my man, LET THEM. I’m taking soalce in the fact that I have a higher thinking than they do.

     Does it make me angry that while they may have that fucked up judgement call about me, that they still seem to have it easier? At first, YES. But I then turn that anger into disappointment. I’m not saying that’s easy. It is not by any means. I guess I’ve had enough practice because I’ve used the same method to avoid becoming an angry Black man dealing with racism. So I’m passing off this advice to you so that you don’t become an angry gay man. You can be a disappointed gay man, as I am. But even with that, don’t let the disappointment sadden you to the point that it blinds you to the beauty that’s around you. God blessed us with the beautiful act of sex to express our love and attraction. And I refuse to let some straight person’s bigotry stop me from the pleasure I get from watching sex and romance from all orientations.

     I said I’m a disappointed gay man. Just as I am a disappointed Black man. And both for the same reason. Because with racism you have Whites ,and in sexual bigotry you have straights having the advantage, yet they scoff at us. Why? Because they are threatened by our presence. Why are they threatened? Because the guilt in their heart of hearts of their unjustified arrogance and “holier than thou” attitude has them looking over their shoulder. Shouldn’t you be taking solace in how stupid that makes them look, therefore better yourself by ignoring their ignorance?

     Maybe some of you haven’t thought of it that way, and that’s why you have the feeling towards the sight of straight love and sex that inpired my writing “The Gays vs. The Straights”. And like I said, the mindset I have is not an easy one to get to. Because it’s so easy to walk around angry. But anger wears out your inner-light, especially when you’re using it boiling over assholes. I wrote these blogs to start you all on a path to be better than the straights who persecute us for no good damn reason. Because to see beauty in the love and sex of a union that is not the gender-based mirror image of your own is the whole journey to making yourself better than them, but it’s a start.

The Gays vs. The Straights

     There is a sexual war going on, and it makes no sense. It’s the Gays vs. the Straights. Granted, there has been anti-gay rhetoric spewed for centuries, but must so many gays lower themselves to continuing the hatred by spewing anti-straight rhetoric in return. I would hope that at least we gays would all show that we deserve to be called “adults” by showing that we have an appreciation for the beauty of the sexuality that created every human being and prolongs the existence of the human race.

     Being that us gays are scoffed at enough as it is in mainstream society, shouldn’t we be raising ourselves up to show that we deserve better. Well scoffing at the romantic non-sexual interaction between Michael Lucas and Savanna Samson in the fountain scene of “La Dolce Vita” is not the way. Nor is it the way by scoffing at Jake Cruise for creating the website, “Straight Guys For Gay Eyes“, saying he shouldn’t make straight porn to show gay men. I believe you can show straight romance and straight sex without it seeming as if you’re running away from being gay. I took that fountain scene in “La Dolce Vita” as a sign that Michael Lucas finds all romance beautiful, be it gay, straight, or bi. And I saw Jake Cruise creating “Straight Guys For Gay Eyes” asa sign of his appreciating the beauty of straight sex just as his appreciating the beauty of gay sex is shown on JakeCruise.com.

     Needless to say, I find all sex beautiful. Straight, gay, bi. it doesn’t matter. As long as it’s between consenting adults, it’s all good to me. Maybe it’s my being bi with a gay preference that gives me the openness to feel that way. OR maybe that’s the key word - openness. A straight, gay, or bisexual person can appreciate the beauty of sex from any orientation. All it takes is an open-mind.

     I have some ideas as to what inspires the half-witted instigators of the Gays vs. Straights war. Some possiblities are: 1) their INSECURITY with how long homosexuality will go on. Get a clue! Homosexuality has been around since Old Testament Bible times, and hasn’t gone anywhere for all these centuries. So rest easy knowing that homosexuality isn’t going anywhere; 2) ENVY over the fact that straight sex gives couples the power of creating a child that is biologically half of him and half of her. My feeling is fine, let straight couples have biological children. Being that I don’t believe in In Vitro fertilization for a gay or straight couple, as a gay man, at least me or my partner wouldn’t be biologically left out if we open our hearts to an innocent child by way of adoption; or 3)ENVY about how much easier straight seem to have it compared to gays, where they don’t really need laws made to protect their human rights. Envy is never a good emotion, because it’s believing that the grass is greener on the other side, when in reality there are probably just as many hardships, if not more.

     I hope by pointing out these facts, those of you who are hetero-phobes in one way or another will finally, at long last, open your mind to how beautiful al sex is. If you don’t want to watch straight or bi-sex, then don’t. But at least be open to it being a beauty that creates a variety that makes the world and life wonderful.

And for those that bitched and moaned about the couple in the picture, “The Dance” from my entry To Catch A Smut Peddler, if those facts haven’t stopped you from bitching and moaning, then take this entry as me giving you the bird. Until next time….. 

Reason For “The Dance”

     With all the silly controversy that erupted as told in my blog entry, “To Catch A Smut Peddler”. I think before getting into my reasons for disliking Corporate America, I should tell you why I thought the poster entitled “The Dance” was OK to sell within the firm.

    When I brought “The Dance” 15 years ago, I was 21 years old. From what I’ve told you about my coming out, you can figure that at that time, I was debating with myself about my sexuality. But the picture was not about sex to me. In my eyes, I saw a picture displaying romance. Romance that I was aching to have in my life. After all, I was 21 and had never so much as been on a date, or had a kiss. So let me confess, I was one of those people who envied what they saw in that picture. But my envy drove me to buy that picture, and turn that envy into inspiration. A way to lift myself up with the knowledge that I will have that one day. Even though at the time, I was fooling myself into thinking it would be with a woman.

     Like I said, I see beauty in the love, romance, and sex of all orientations. So it’s no surprise that I still look at that picture seeing it having the same degree of romance as when I bought it 15 years ago. And yes, that is the kind of display of romance that suggest that sex will follow. My feeling was “So what, isn’t romance leading to sex part of human nature.” If you use the MPAA rating system, then “The Dance” would be rated PG. Not PG-13, R, or NC-17. So I still don’t understand what all the fuss was about. And my feeling this way has nothing to do with my doing porn, as someone foolishly suggested. Because if you care to recall, my Mother, a very religious woman, didn’t understand the fuss either. I guess the difference between her having religious convictions and the corporate uptights is that she’s not hypocritical about the romantic and sexual being she is while she has religious convictions.

     Now you know why I took the chance of posting that picture. I don’t care if you agree or disagree with my point of view on this matter. Just as long as you know my point of view on this matter.

And F.Y.I. - part of the reprimand was for the fact that I didn’t post the desire to sell those posters in a K-Gram. Well, once again just yeesterday, a partner sent out an email to the entire firm trying to sell something. This time, it was Cyndi Lauper tickets. The bullshit of hypocrisy reigning supreme. I definitely plan on printing out that email, and using it for evidence for myself or someone else as to why reprimanding them for selling something by way of email is a completely unjust reprimand. Because like I said, if you want us to follow your policy, lead your subordinates by example.

By Way Of Bi-Curiosity

     Last week, some of you were told about my newest blog entry for Pitbull, “By Way Of Bi-Curiosity“. If you wanted to, but couldn’t post comments, now here’s your chance.

     I met a guy at Boysroom who said he was bi-curious. If you ever went to the websites by Next Door Studios, such as NextDoorMale.com, NextDoorHookUps.com, and NextDoorBuddies.com, you may have seen the guy’s look-alike Denny - in face and build. I’ve come to realize that people who look alike tend to act alike. If you’ve seen Denny in action on these sites, you know why I’m wondering that if people who look alike tend to act alike, I’m also wondering if they fuck alike as well.

Check out the blog @ www.thugpornblog.com/tre.html 

Quick Answers Being That Time Flies

     Some recent comments suggest that I’m ignoring some of your questions about my personal life, and I’m going to make some facts clear about that now. And none of what I say is meant to be offensive.

1) Even though this blog is an online journal, it is still my life, therefore my prerogative to decide how much of myself I put out there for readers to know;

2) I very much appreciate your interest in me. And the more new names of interested people appear on this blog with their comments, the more I want to write to satisfy your interest. However, there aren’t enough hours in a day for me to live my life experiencing all the things that peak your interest and write a quality blog every few days. I could write a blog every day, but it wouldn’t be a quality blog entry. You see, most of my blog entries are days and weeks in the making, because I want to make sure that I said the right things with the right tone, and answer as many questions as possible. Even some forseeable dumb ones. Now you know why they are sometimes so long.

I will take try to take this time to quickly answer some questions that have long been on some of your minds. So THANK Tony for recently reminding in the comment he gave in “To Catch A Smut Peddler”.

     In regards to Igor. Speaking of, since that entry, I’ve seen him twice trying to avoid eye contact with me when he’s right in my line of view. I love the fact that I look at him now and feel nothing. As for him, guilt’s a bitch, ain’t it? Anyway, I’ve have been dating. In fact, I was recently seeing someone and it ended for the same reason, as Igor and many others. I seem to have a knack for picking guys who are presently emotionally crippled like I used to be. The difference is I knew I was emotionally crippled so I avoided dealing with society until I could do better, they have not.

     In regards to my life in Jersey City. It’s nothing special. I didn’t say much before because all I did was sleep in the place. Instead of live like I plan on doing in my new place. I had a roommate before, and now I have 2 roommates. Before I had no overnight guest over, mainly because my roommate didn’t have overnight guest. And he had every right to, because he owned the place. This time, my roommate are just tenants like me, and I’m actually decorating my room (as well as its a prvate bathroom) with the intent to have some action on a few occasions.

I’m sorry you missed the days of me never deleting a comment, but as some people tried to make my blog their place to attack me over things not related to the topic at hand, that change became necessary.

     I hope I’ve answered some of your questions to some extent. Being that I’m sure my responses are not as in depth as you would like or used to. Have a HAPPY and SAFE PRIDE. And if you see me on the Rentboy float at the Pride March, yell out my name and wave “Hello”.

To Catch A Smut Peddler

          As some of you may already know, I moved into my new place at the end of May. Early last week as I was deciding where to put what where, I decided to sell a couple of custom-framed posters that I’ve had for a good while.
     The way I decided to sell them was by selling them at my day job. I figured that way was the fastest way to get rid of them. So I sent out an email throughout the entire NY office of the law firm. Here are the photos of the 2 posters that I sent as attachments.

The Dance

Stiletto Stomping Survivor

     A few months ago, Stiletto Casting was holding auditions for a new reality show to be shot over the summer and shown on LOGO called, “The Great Gay Escape”. They went to various places across the country, and when they came to New York, they held the auditions at g lounge. While notice of the auditions was in an HX Magazine that I picked up the day the issue came out, I didn’t notice the listing until the day of the auditions, which was the following Friday – the day the next issue of HX usually comes out. This sounds like something I should make myself a part of, so needless to say, I got my look together and hauled ass to the PATH train and made my way over to g lounge.

     The application they wanted you to fill out was pages long. It took me at least ½ hour to finish it. When they called me in, they videotaped me asking me to say my name and age. Then they asked why do I want to be on “The Great Gay Escape”. I can’t recall all of my words verbatim, but I told them the truth. I told them that I wanted to be on the show, because I’ve had a sheltered life, and I wanted to experience more of what’s out there. Especially, since I’m 36 and I’ve been anti-social until I figured out my sexuality 5 years ago.

     The interviewer then asked what was I doing before those 5 years. Maybe dating women? Once again, I came with the truth. I told her, it was just me, “Mr. Palmer” and “his 5 sons”, raising my hand to show what I meant by “Mr. Palmer”, and wiggling my fingers to show “his 5 sons”.

     She seemed shocked. She then asked what I did for a living. Was I way too honest by telling her that by day I’m a Mail Clerk at a law firm, and sometimes by night, I’m a Porn Actor? When she heard that, her eyes bulged, and she said, “Wow! How long have you been doing that?”

I told her, “About 2 years.”

She said, “So you went from not knowing you’re gay, to coming out gay, and now you’re really gay?”

I said, “Yeah, that’s about the size of it.” And I closed the audition on that note. She said it was interesting, and I shook everyone’s hand and left.

     Well as you can see, with summer approaching and no word from them, that it didn’t pan out. Am I disappointed? After filling out that long application with nothing to show for it, and being that this is my 2^nd time auditioning for a reality show for LOGO, of course. But am I bummed out about it? When I think of my pure reasons for wanting to do it (which are the same reasons I wanted to do it the first time), “YES”. You see, my wanting to do this was not to promote “Porn Star Tré Xavier”, even though that’s the name I went by, so in the end it would have been free publicity. I wanted to put my story outside of porn out there of my long-time struggle with my sexuality, how I overcame it, who I am now because of it, and how I interact now socially after overcoming it. Because there are so many gay and bi older men and women still struggling with themselves. Getting married to the gender they don’t prefer just to go through the motions. What makes it worst is when they have children, because in the long run, their children will grow up jaded by the fact that they were born out of a lie. A parent(s) lying to themselves about who they really are. I was also hoping to at the same time, inspire some gay young people to not hide from themselves, and miss out on their youth like I did, and avoid the aforementioned scenarios.

     Maybe it’s for the best. After all, I am scheduled to do a couple of events this summer with Will Clark. I was just hoping to reach people on a larger scale. But God has his reasons for letting things happen the way they do, so all I can do is accept that and move on. The very same way I had to when I auditioned for mainstream entertainment projects before my getting into porn. So maybe next time, because a story like mine needs to get out to people, and I believe God will let it at some point by HIS say of due time.

Tipping Go-Go Boys - Insulting?

     I’m about to sound like a broken record. Because just as I started my entry “A Black Man Can’t Be A Racist”, I once again have to say that I am not the dumb shit who made this statement. In fact the person who said that tipping go-go boys is insulting is the very same idiot who said that a black man can’t be a racist. Which would partly explain why I have so little association with this person now?

     The way this statement came about was me talking about how I went out one night, and I mentioned that I tipped a go-go boy. The person commented, “You do that sort of thing. I think that’s insulting.”

At first, I thought I was mistaken, and that he couldn’t have possibly have said that. Then I thought, “Wait a minute, isn’t this the same guy who said that a Black man can’t be a racist?”

Then answering myself I said, “Yeah! He’s just that much of a dumb shit to say something like that.”

You see, I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, because due to this person’s saddening personality traits of being cynical and paranoid, I thought he twisted my words around to mean something negative. After all, he’s done this often enough before that it also has contributed to our parting of the ways.

So it brings me to wonder, why is it insulting to tip a go-go boy? Because I’m a Porn Actor. Because I’ve go-go danced myself. First off, I don’t see myself as being any better than them. Hence the reason I have hot Go-Go Boys like HX Award nominees for Go-Go Boy of the Year, Chase and Ziv, as friends on my myspace profile. In fact, my feeling is it’s more reason for me to do so. Because I know what these guys have to put up with when they do their jobs. The gropes that go too far, OR the worse of them all, the guys who try to cop a feel, and tip nothing at all. I haven’t seen it often, but my few stints as a go-go boy has allowed me to experience these things enough personally. Heck, I once worked a Daniel Nardicio party (the extreme go-go boy experience) and a guy tried to finger-fuck me after tipping me a few bucks. Problem with that was 2 things:1)No matter how much you tip me, I have to be really into you to let you finger-fuck me, and 2)if you’re going to try to finger-fuck anyone, ever – CUT YOUR FUCKIN’ NAILS! So I kindly told him, “You can play around the hole, but do not go in.” And he very kindly apologized. So as you can see, I do know what these guys go through. BOY, DO I KNOW WHAT THESE GUYS GO THROUGH.

     I’ve even tip Go-Go Boys that I’ve come to know. Why, do you ask? Because my talking to them and tipping them could be viewed as a signed of how friendly that Go-Go Boy is. Thereby, inspiring that shy guy who is scared to approach him to come over. Besides, the Go-Go Boy has to be friendly if I’m talking to him. If a Go-Go Boy acts like a stuck-up asshole with the patrons, I would never bother talking to him. And believe me, I’m always watching.

     I still keep trying to figure out what would make this guy say something so foolish. Because the last time I checked, insulting a Go-Go Boy is trying to cop a feel and not give any tips.

     Recently, I was also trying to figure out why I didn’t respond to his statement, and put him in his place in regards to his blatant ignorance. Then I realized a fascinating fact about the human mind that I learned a long time ago. That fact being how the sub-conscious mind is sometimes stronger than the conscious mind. Which explains why we do some things and can’t immediately explain why? In this case, when he made his foolish statement, I think my sub-conscience took over, and said in its tone of Aries’ arrogance, “That statement is so stupid, I am not lowering myself to respond. So let me leave this half-wit to be a half-wit, and proceed with my day.”And so I did. I dealt with him for the few hours I had to, and moved on. The reason why this thought is coming up now is because, as I have made my decision to no longer associate with him, all of the stupid things he has said and bad advice he’s given me is resurfacing in my mind. It also may be because come July 8^th, I’ll be doing another turn of go-go dancing on Will Clark’s Bad Boys On The Hudson Sea Tea.So whatever you do, don’t follow that dumb-ass’ code. If you see something you like, tip it well, tip it often. Because being there for your entertainment, we appreciate signs of your appreciation.

The Fountain Of Duped

     The thought that America is obsessed with youth is way more than just a notion, or theory. It is an undeniable fact, where the proof of it is in so many industries (not just adult entertainment). What may surprise you even more is that I don’t think it has as much to do with youthful beauty as much as it does the youthful mindset.

     The title is no disrespect to the youthful mindset. It’s a play on words showing how so many industries take inhumane advantage of the youthful mindset. Which will in the long run lead many of these young people to become jaded and bitter, because if their wisdom grows with age, they’ll look back and find that they’ve been duped.

     The part of the youthful mindset that I’m speaking of is the eagerness to please and be accepted. It’s that trait they have had since their early teen years. It is actually the mindset that causes young people to succumb to peer pressure. That mindset also causes younger people to do what they normally wouldn’t do, just to get the respect of who they perceive as a superior as if they were a god. Older people IF they mentally act their age, stand firm as to who they are, remembering that superior is just a mortal human like themselves, but in a position of power, and is in no way a god. Therefore, those superiors with an overgrown ego choose to work with the young person, constantly taking advantage of them growing into their identity, and thereby stifling the growth of the younger person’s self-esteem in the process.

     One example of this is an incident involving a guest caller at Will Clark’s Porno Bingo. You’ve seen the photos from the photo sessions taken in the back of the 9th Avenue Bistro by A. B. Well, this guest who is in his early 20’s was feeling self-conscious about his body. Why? Because according to this model, he was recently replaced in a scene because the director said he was too fat. Now, if I reveal this model’s name, you would see he was meant to be a big guy bordering on being husky. Now, this director hired him, so he should have saw that way before I did. So it makes me wonder, did this director say this to the model because he knew because of this model’s youth, he was easier to make comply to his demands, like models in the fashion industry who later wind up with eating disorders? Knowing that if he tried that on an older model OR a younger model with a mindset mature beyond his years, would have known and shown their God-ordained right to have the attidtude of “Hey, this is me! This is what you hired and contracted, so love it, or lump it!” Therefore, the director took advantage of that model’s youthful mindset that’s so eager to please for the sake of acceptance. And that worries me, because what is this model going to think looking back on that incident 10 years from now. I doubt he’s going to feel it was worth it. Instead, he’s probably going to look back on that situation singing a chorus of “shoulda woulda coulda’s” about taking an older model’s approach to the situation. Because the model will discover that he was duped into believing he was less beautiful that he really was, even though he had a contract and work just days before to prove how beautiful that director found him to be.

     As for my personal opinion of the model, I would have been happy to oblige putting his self-consciousness at ease. By simply letting him fuck the living daylights out of me on that pool table in the back of the bar. Unfortunately, I don’t think the manager would have been to happy with that. Then again, he might have made a quick order for a video camera.

     Don’t misunderstand, the youthful mindset that brings forth that eagerness to please is not a bad thing to have, because that’s how we start our growth by way of that eagerness. It’s the people in superior positions who take advantage and practically insult the younger person who is eager to please that’s doing something wrong. And for what? To get their trifling ego stroked. It’s a sin and a shame, and these people are not only a blight on the industry they represent, but a blight on humanity overall.

     As I stated earlier, this kind of behavior towards younger people is going to breed a future of cynical and jaded older people. To avoid this, I’m trying to give as much advice as I can when asked about how to handle oneself in certain situations. Many of these superiors don’t realize the damage they are doing. And they probably don’t care, even if they knew they were guilty, and reading this blog right now. But karma is a bitch, so these superiors better watch out for a well-deserved return of being taken advantage of by someone they look up to.

    Although many younger people will feel that they won’t get where they want to go by taking that stand for themselves, they should realize that’s the reason the more mature people do take that stand. Because they made that mistake of complying with no questions asked earlier in their lives, and as the saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” So now they sing the chorus of “shoulda woulda coulda’s”, and refuse to allow being duped to be a part of their lives. So my writing this is so that maybe the younger people reading this will get a jump start in the maturing of their mindset. By being eager to learn, and eager to do their job, but not at the expense of their self-respect by stroking the egos of fuckfaced God-wannabes.

AIDS Walk NY 2007 - SUCCESS!

I DID IT!

I got out of my bed early on a Sunday morning and became one of the many, many walkers for AIDS WALK NY 2007. I walked with the team for AIDS Service Center NYC.  They were very friendly to me, a complete stranger and a guest to their unit, and I THANK them will all my heart for making me feel welcome.

Now consdering the recent criticism I was getting for my physical preference in men, which lead to my depth of character being questioned, I would like to put a couple of questions out there to you.

Did you take part in the AIDS WALK in your area? Did you make any kind of donation, even $1?

If your answer is “No” to the latter, or worse “No” to both questions, then you need to get off my back. Becasue to my knowledge, I know no one with HIV or AIDS personally. And if I do, they have not disclosed that information to me. So my walking (planned a couple of months before all this criticism of me transpired) is my doing it out of humanity. The fact that I am no better than anyone else, and I do make mistakes. And should I make that 1 mistake or have that one accident that gets me infected, I’ll need that helping hand. So while I’ve been blessed to be negative, why shouldn’t I do my part to help everyone who is presently living with HIV/AIDS be able to say the same in the near future.

With that in mind, if you didn’t walk, or make a donation, I do hope that you’ll go to my donation page and do that now. Just 1 click on the AIDS WALK logo will take you to my donation page. After all, as I’ve said before, we have a government that is not doing as much for us, their own citizens, as they should so we have to help ourselves.

Please help us do that. THANK YOU

The Straight Porn Star of “Pussy Boy”

     I’m glad I tapped into another fantasy for some of you with “Pussy Boy”. Being the perfectionist that I am, I worked on it for a good while to make sure I presented the fantasy just right. In other words, making sure all of you bottoms were wishing that hot guys was for once so desperate for a hole to stick his cock in, that he would find it to be his pleasure and having no shame to use your hole.

As I stated in the paragraph explaining the motivatin for the poem, the 1st verse was about watching a straight male Porn Actor in one of his movies. I thought I take this time to tell you who I was imagining while writing “Pussy Boy”. I love a lot of straight male Porn Actors. In recent years America has finally caught up to Europe to give us some good-looking guys to watch fuck, instead of just any guy who can keep a hard-on. So for a while now, I’ve been imagining that while being fucked mercilessly, I’m squeezing the great asses that are the likes of Kurt Lockwood, Nick Manning, or Johnny Castle. Of course we can’t forget Niko, who started out in gay porn doing solo scenes, like in “Me, Myself & I”, or  more recently “Mischief”. And the juiciest ass of them all T.J. Cummings, who I feel has probably the best White male ass in all American porn - straight and gay. And if you didn’t know, T.J. has done both. He started out in gay porn under the name “Nick Steele”. The first time I recall him using “T.J. Cummings” was when he was in the Bi-sex flick “Mass Appeal” with gay porn legend, Ken Ryker.

But none of those guys ever came to mind while imagining the scenario for “Pussy Boy”. As much as a mental slut I am, this time I thought of only 1 guy. Me groping 1 guy’s great ass while he pounds the sheer fuck out of me. That guy is straight porn actor, Mark Ashley. I kept seeing pics in my head of him doing all that hard pounding that he’s doing to that woman’s pussy in Barely Legal #45, being done to my ass instead. Just as I do every time I pop that DVD into my player.

       I told you I like a variety of guys. To me, Mark Ashley has that rough edge to him, and his scene from Barely Legal #45 was a major turn-on to me. I always thought he was hot. Just imagine those intense blue eyes locked on you while he fucks you with such intensity. 

       I told you I like a variety of guys. To me, Mark Ashley has that rough edge to him, and his scene from Barely Legal #45 was a major turn-on to me. I always thought he was hot. Just imagine those intense blue eyes locked on you while he fucks you with such intensity. 

So those of you that like “Pussy Boy”, do you think I was well-motivated? Sure I could have picked some other straight Porn Actor, or a gang of straight Porn Actors. But this time my mind focused on one. And if the pics aren’t enough to tell you why, then maybe you should go to a VOD site and check out that scene. Then you’ll find out for sure why I wish that was me.

Erotic Poetry: Pussy Boy

Those of you who have been with me since the beginning of my site may recall my having an Erotic Poetry section, but no one paid attention to it so I got rid of it. With my increased popularity by way of this blog, I thought that occasionally I would display some of my erotic poetry with an explanation as to what motivated me writing it.

However, my most recent one, can only be viewed on my blog for Pitbull Productions.

So got to it.

ESP or Coincidence Blogging

May 10, 2007 on 11:27 pm | In Uncategorized | 2 Comments

ESP is a crazy thing. Or was it just coincidence. I have been thinking about doing my last blog entry on outing for a few months now, and I finally wrote it over the past 2 weeks. Wouldn’t you know that the same day I post the entry, I go to my friend Porn Journalist Vincent Lambert’s site, and the 1st thing my eyes fall on is this article aobut Raging Stallion Exclusive Roman Ragazzi being outed by Page Six:

http://vincentlambert.blogspot.com/2007/05/news-roman-ragazzi-loses-job-in-porn.html

When will these reporters learn. So far many of their prey have been taking these intrusions in stride. But 1 day, someone’s is going to break in retaliation. And not by doing harm to themselves, but to these intruders. They can try to preach “freedom of the press” and “freedom of speech” all they want, BUT there is a line some were crossing. Now that some by not being put in their place (because in their empty lives choose to hide behind the Constitution), has turned into way too many crossing many lines.

3F Audacity To Out

May 10, 2007 on 10:24 am | In Uncategorized | 2 Comments

     There is something I’ve been wanting to address for some time now, because no matter how you look at it, it’s gays unjustly attacking gays. That subject is outing by other gays in the media. I stand firm in my disapproval of any form of outing, but especially this kind. So brace yourself. Because while those who out people are gays unjustly attacking gays, what you’re about to read is a gay justly attacking gays because it’s in defense of the outed.

     I have always told people that I am very territorial. I guard what is mine very heavily, and those who intrude upon that are greeted with a heinous verbal assault that equates to a warning shot from a gun to ward them off from the heinous physical attack if they proceed with their stupidity.  Some of the ‘what is mine’ that I speak of include my identity, my self-respect, my self-esteem, my sexuality, and my privacy. And although I may not fight as hard, I will fight for those things to be respected, not only of my friends and family, but of my fellow man as well. Hence, the reason for this entry. To voice my disgust toward the gays who have the fuck-faced faggoty audacity to think it’s OK to out a celebrity.

     The term “faggot” may have been used to describe a gay man in general, but for me, it means something else. It means any one who takes something to such an extreme that it’s hurtful and shameful to themselves and others. So by my definition, a faggot can be gay or straight. Like the paparazzi that caused the death of Princess Diana are faggots. I don’t know if they were straight or gay, but they were faggots none the less. Therefore, it takes a loathsome breed of a gay person to be called a faggot by me. A loathsome breed like the gay gossip columnists who out celebrities, and those who feel they are doing  the right thing. My questions to the gay gossip columnists, considering how outing someone was known for years as not just being taboo in the gay community, but out right WRONG, where is your code of ethics as a gay person yourself? Are you such a lousy writer that this is the only way you can draw attention to yourself? By exposing a personal, private, and intimate part of their lives?

     My thoughts about telling people you’re gay is the same today as it was before I figured out my sexuality 5 years ago. You’re told on a need to know basis, like to a prospective lover. Everyone else, like a co-worker and mere acquaintance, are told because I felt like it. They don’t hold a place in my life where they need to know, an intimate place. The same holds true for celebrities. There is no need for them to tell us their sexual orientation. They’re job is to entertain us. After that, they should be allowed to go live their lives, as we should go live ours, which means minding our own damn business.

     I am fully aware of the fact that being gay is looked down upon in conservative circles. Therefore, sometimes that calls for members of the gay community to become soldiers and do battle for our human rights. And if you don’t want to be a part of that fight, feel free. Because every war has soldiers and civilians. So what gives these “things” the right to try to force someone into battle by revealing  an intimate part of someone’s life that they chose to keep private, as one supporter of the gay columnist who out people suggested. That’s like drafting people into a war, which usually leads to some form of rebellion, because your ignorant ass tried to take away their human right to choose. So you only managed to make them distance themselves further from the gay community, instead of coming closer. Nice work, asshole.

     I have always wondered why do these columnists and their supporters think this is OK behavior? And I’ve come to the conclusion that they live their lives with an “it’s us against them” mentality. The Gays vs. The Straights. Therefore, they need soldiers for their idiotic war. Idiotic because if it wasn’t for straight men shooting off their cum loads off into women, there would be no gays. The same loads of cum, may I remind you, that some of us love to watch and/or taste in gay men. And without a gay’s natural inner-conflict, there would be a lot less creativity for straight people to admire, and more importantly be inspired by. So like it or not, we need each other. I personally not only like it - I LOVE IT.

     This “it’s us against them” mentality is brought on out of cowardice and misery.

Cowardice, because they’re so afraid to stand alone in making their voice heard, they resort to bullying people into adding their voice to theirs. I don’t have that cowardice, hence why I am so disgusted by the existence of these gossiping bitches and their supporters. I stand alone so often on my day job fighting for our rights as workers. Am I annoyed by standing alone in a room full of straight men with their “hip-hop” attitudes to be such manly men who don’t speak up when they should? Yes, I’m annoyed, but I don’t try to bully them into talking with me. In fact, I take great solace in knowing my voice was heard. Whether I was successful or not in my stand, at least the higher-ups know that when they want to go on one of their bullshit ego trips, with me on the scene, they have a major fight on their hands.

Misery, because even with a partner they’ve been with for years, they’re still unhappy. They still feel alone. But if they’re one of those who always live their lives with their war gear on against the straights, the loneliness is well deserved for their stupidity. However, misery does love company, so they pick on someone who seems content in their life as a gay individual (keeping it private as they have a God-ordained right to), and disrupt their lives by making what they wanted kept sacred, public. The columnists should remember that in the past, and some societies to this day believe that disrupting something held sacred is punishable by death. Please pass the word on to these assholes.

     A friend who disappointed me by saying he supports these outings, said that I’m new to being out, so I don’t understand how important it is. Since I cherish his friendship, I have decided that we agree to disagree, because this comes from someone who left the law firm’s Christmas party because he “can’t be around straight people too long.” Does that sound like the “it’s us against them” mentality? I think so. So why would I listen to that. Especially since I spent some years before my venture to figure out my sexuality studying gay society from the outside looking in, and it has now been 5 years continuing my studies from the inside. So if my standards on this issue haven’t changed yet, then I must have observed enough to give me good reason not to.

FlavaWorks At Boysroom

May 8, 2007 on 7:11 pm | In Uncategorized, PornStar's life | 4 Comments

     A few weeks ago, I got an email from FlavaWorks saying they were going to be in New York. If you don’t already know, FlavaWorks is based in Miami. They said they wanted to meet with me. They asked for some photos and stats, and I immediately replied. As the date of their arrival came closer, being the eager beaver that I am, I called them. They told me that they were going to be at Boysroom, so I made it my business to be there that night.

     When I spoke to them on the phone, the guy I spoke to, Lucas, said he remembered me from this past year’s Gay Erotic Expo. Then I knew whoever I was talking to had to be someone I saw at their booth. Funny thing is I didn’t say anything to anybody there. I just go a free copy of Fall 2006 Issue of FlavaMen magazine, and just when I was about to move on, the guy who turned to be Lucas told one of the  models to give me a card to contact them about modeling for them.

     The event at Boysroom last Monday was to celebrate the release of “ROMEO MUST RIDE“. It was also Macho Mondays at Boysroom, which meant for much of the night, I would be seeing a bunch of Black & Latino hotties walking through the crowd offering lap-dances, dancing on the poles or on the stage. I got attention as soon as I got to the door. Before I could get my ID and cash out, the guy working the door asked me if I was dancing tonight. I told him “No”, while being shocked that he asked. Tommy G, the night’s promoter was also outside, and the guy told Tommy, “I thought he was one of your guys. He looks like he could be”.

Tommy replied, “Yeah, he does.”

I just smiled and walked in, and thought to myself, “Wow! I haven’t even gone inside yet, and already my ego’s getting stroked. I better watch myself tonight.”

Good thing that just as my ego gets stroked, my conscience always shoves a big piece of humble pie down my throat by saying things like, “Go ahead and be an asshole thinking you’re Mr. HotShit. Karma will put a whippin’ on your ass that will make your face look like a piece of brown paper wrinkled up a 1000 times by the time you’re 40.”

My response - “Yes Sir, I shall behave.”

     While waiting for the weekly contest between some of the dancers to begin, I got a few come-ons by some patrons there. They asked me if I was dancing, and when I told them ‘No’, they told me I should be. My Mama didn’t raise a fool. I may have just gotten out into the world 5 years ago, but I’m a fast learner, and I know that was a line. A damn good one. A damn flatering one. But a line none the less. One guy kept asking me to let him buy me a drink. I was constantly telling him I’m fine, because I didn’t want to take advantage of him when I knew nothing more than my being polite was going to come of the evening. He was so persistent, I eventually caved, and agreed to let him buy me a bottled water.

I thought to myself, “Bottled water?! Boy, you know you want something with some taste. If you’re not going for alcohol right now, you should have said a Coke.” But a couple of days later, I realized, maybe that was God’s way of looking out for me. I don’t know this guy, and anything else would have been wide open for him to slip a quick something in there if he wasn’t too correct. Bottled water is sealed, and if that seal didn’t crack, don’t trust it. The seal did crack. This was one of those moments where I feel the subconscious mind is stronger than the conscious one.

Later on, I saw the guys from FlavaWorks walk in. As some of them were standing around, one of them came over to me, and I remembered his face from the Gay Erotic Expo. It was Lucas. So instead of me having to ask around for him, he found me.

The contest got started and my night got crazier. One of the dancers in the contest, a tall hot muscular Latino, pulled me up onto the stage, and he simulated sex with me in missionary, doggy-style, then he stood up and had me upside down for a simulated 69. He was so embarassed. Needless to say, I went back into the audience hot and horny as hell, imagining what it would be like to take on such a big guy.

During a break, the FlavaWorks models got up on stage, and gave out free DVDs of ROMEO MUST RIDE, as well as magazines and mini-posters. You know I got my copy of that movie, and when I got home, I used it to release that tension from all that happened later with the go-go boys after the contest. Such as 1 giving me a lap-dance, 1 coming up to me with a semi-flaccid (but still big) cock in his thong, then after it starts growing, he then he beats it up against my crotch telling me, “See what you do to me?”. Then another dancer that I was eyeing all night who wasn’t in the contest was standing at a profile angle just about a foot away from me. I reached out to stick a dollar in his tight boxer briefs. He turned his back to me and “backed that thang up”. Which suited me fine because I have a weakness for tall and slim like him. And an even greater weakness for tall and slim with a nice ass, which he has. As you can see from the photo below. He’s all the way to your right.  You know these guys were inciting my fantasy of being gangbanged by a bunch of go-go boys. And these aren’t all of them. The one I got the lap dance from is in the lower center. You have to go there for yourself and hope to see the other two I mentioned and find out why I was so mesmerized.

I wish I could remember the names of all of them, but I came in contact with so many names and faces that night, they slipped my mind. The only name I can recall is Tommy G, the promoter who’s the only guy wearing a shirt in that photo.

     Lucas complimented me on my work with Tyson Cane. He also said that they expect to be back in the summer to do some shooting, so they should be getting in touch with me around that time. I’m looking forward to it. I most definitely plan on keeping in touch to make sure that happens.

     I told my friend from myspace, Ka-os about my meeting with FlavaWorks, and he had names of who he’d like to see me with, besides himself. You see, he’s a big fan. In fact, he has if I’m not mistaken, ALL of the Dorm Life DVDs. He’s been asking me to pursue working with them for the longest. And now it just might happen. Maybe it has something to do with all that I put on my online application at the FlavaMen site. I won’t say exactly what, but I put down some freaky things I’ve done. Mostly with the Jersey Boys.

     When I got home, I immediately put on ROMEO MUST RIDE. Like I said, after the night I had,I needed the release and this was a big help. Especially with the first scene I went to being where Romeo St. James fucks Shorty J. If you recall, Shorty J. was one of my scene partners in “The Interview”, so it was hot to see someone do to him what I wanted to. But in my case, it would have been me returning the favor to Shorty J. for what he did to me.

I would critique the rest of the movie for you scene by scene, but I’ll be brief. Based on what I’ve said in the past of what I like to see and what I consider fun to have done to me. To say I wish I was there should say it all. Maybe sometime soon, I will be.

Answering Joh

May 5, 2007 on 11:07 am | In Uncategorized | 4 Comments

This is what I’m talking about here. This is how comments don’t get deleted. The following comment by Joh stuck to the subject at hand, therefore I am more than willing to answer his question.

Joh’s comments was:

 I agree about the understated, under-appreciated, under-utilized part. But what are you doing about it is the question.  Trying to unite everyone is one thing, but what about building strength in your own community.  You used to live in a rich black cultural area, and didn’t feel comfortable.  Guys asked you over and over how it is living in a different
area in NJ, but still no answer. 

To answer your questions Joh, as far as what I’m doing about it, I’m writing this blog. The bigger help to me would be the mainstream studios to hire me (or others Blacks who don’t fit the all too common Black mold) so we can be an example to all. So far, Dark Alley Media has been the only noticeable example to me.

     And I hope we I don’t  live in a different community than you. My community is not racially divided. No matter how ignorant the people are around me to live that way, I refuse to. That’s why that way of thinking is the failure that it is that makes blog entries like mine necessary. It’s the same way of thinking as too many industries (not just adult) here in America - look out for your own color. So we need to build strength within ourselves as individuals. And to do that, we have to have a more evolved way of thinking, and do things in the name of humanity, not race.

     I never lived in a rich Black cultural area. There were just a lot of Black people with no sense of culture - period. Plus while living there, I was unsure of my own identity, so being surround by people with no sense of culture doesn’t help. Hence, my discomfort, and my twisted racism against other Blacks. Now, living in Jersey City, I am more cmfortable, especially since I am still in the ongoing process of learning myself.

     I will close with this, Joh. To respond to your comment, you spoiled my surprise. I was going to surprise you all with a blog about how my getting in the porn industry and doing ethnic porn helped me to see the beauty of Black men. Which is why I have been taking this stand that I’ve been making with these blog entries. Thanks Joh.

A Ka-os Theory Yearning To Be Fact

May 3, 2007 on 10:14 pm | In Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Every once in a while, a reader gives a comment that has a profound effect on me. Once again, it was Ka-os. You may recognize the name from before, because I have re-posted a couple of his blog entries from myspace.  This time though, it’s not his blog entry I’m re-posting, it’s his comment on myspace to my last blog entry. I have also re-posted my reply to his comment as well. And to refresh your memory, what makes this comment coming from him even more special is that he’s an Irish brother. So he has the open mind many Americans put up the facade of having. I hope a lesson gets learned from his words. 

Ka-os commented:   

     Bored? Ain’t we all. The problem, I would imagine, because I don’t know this for a fact, is that the gay porn industry is largely controlled by white men (like the gay media) who cater to their own interests. So, whilst the audience (which is made up of every colour and background under the sun) wants more variety, these beige WASPs can’t see beyond their own noses. Rather than deliberately excluding black men (and let’s not limit ourselves to another black vs white yawnfest, there happens to be plenty of other types of men out there, not just black men and white men, as you point out) these snowy white porn barons simply don’t think of anyone other than their own standard type. Of course, it’s a problem largely confined to the US, where all the studios (black and white) are pretty much obsessed with segregation. Would it kill Flava to include the odd Eastern European hunk? Enrique Cruz to slip in some urban white boy? The US ought to look at Europe for some ideas when it comes to variety - look at any Cadinot film, for example, or even Kristen Bjorn (who actually is American), who for years has sourced a huge array of models from all corners of the globe…What we really need to see is some sort of “Cocodorm Meets Bel Ami” mixtape - eight Bel Ami boys, eight Cocodorm boys, one house. Now that sounds like my idea of fun…

Posted by ka-os on Wednesday, May 02, 2007 at 10:27 AM

And I replied:

Unfortunately, the segregation was more forced on the Black studios. Where else are you going to see that variety of Black men, like I stated before? The bigger studios won’t show it. So it becomes a war saying, “You won’t show Black guys? Fine. Then I won’t show White!” Maybe FlavaWorks or Enrique Cruz will read your comment, and take your idea into consideration. If so, it would definitely show who between them and the maistream porn studios is more in touch with the real world.

——————————————————————————————-

     I personally would love to see someone take Ka-os’ idea into consideration. And use Ka-os himself as one of the stars. Because not only is he smart (as you can see), but if you click on the link to his myspace profile, you’ll see he’s fuckin’ HOT as well. And it gets better. I originally came in contact with Ka-os on DList.com, and he’d be my favorite kind of top - one with a GREAT ASS. And his cock is pretty hot, too. Too bad he lives in London, so I haven’t been able to give him that butt massage while my ass grabs hold of his cock yet. But the future holds a great many gifts that I’m looking forward to getting.

Color Diversity- Somewhat, But Variety Within Colors - Denied

April 30, 2007 on 5:36 pm | In Uncategorized, PornStar's life | 7 Comments

Before I begin, let me say that this is not an attack on any of the porn companies. It is my displaying changes that I not only feel, but know should be made in order to make the porn industry more reputable to all of American buying public. Some companies may feel that what I’m about to say means nothing, because they’re making so much money already. But the truth is, if they take heed of what I’m about to say, they could make way more.     

     As much as I would like to, I can’t avoid making political statements with what I do. I would like it to be that when I do a movie, I can do it just to entertain, but even if I do just ethnic-themed porn, that would be me denying who and what I see everyday when I look in the mirror. I try not to see color, but there it is, the short fact of what so many see - I am a Black American. I am one of a race of people whose abilities and accomplishments are understated, therefore under-appreciated, thereby under-utilized. And not just in the adult industry, but in a bevy of industries as well.

     In a recent entry, I brought up the fact of how we need to see more Blacks bottoming in movies with more of a variety of bodies types, besides the buffed and bald Black man. Dave brought up how Michael Lucas is featuring Brian Bodine in a couple of films. The complaints I made to both Dave and Michael Lucas himself are 1)what took Michael Lucas so long; and 2)when I offered myself to Michael Lucas as a model 2 years ago, one of the main reasons was because Michael Lucas said he wanted to show New York in his films, but I (as many) found New York was being misrepresnted racially. Therefore, me in the mix would have brought him closer to being true to his claim. In my email to Michael, (giving credit where credit is due) I applauded him for making that move, and in being my honest self, expressed while I’m disappointed that it wasn’t me (after all he’s had me in his office at least 3 times between early 2005 and mid 2006) I am glad it was happening.

     I made those complaints because I felt in New York of all places, that Blacks abilities to be in the adult industry were  being understated, therefore under-appreciated, and thereby under-utilized. Not just in New York City, but in this country, ethnic porn companies like Pitbull Producitons should not be practically the only way to see a variety of Black and Latino types. But as it stands they are, hence my loyalty to them for giving me that chance.

     With no insult I say, Jason Tiya and Brian Bodine, while both are extremely attractive, have are a very common look of Blacks in mainstream gay porn, usually buffed, but always bald. And I fear the being bald is accepted by most studios to erase signs of African heritage, because when have you seen an afro, braids, or dreads on a Black in mainsream porn in recent years, when if more studios got in touch with reality, they would see there are many White men who find those guys hot as well. Meanwhile, Tony Diamond of Dark Alley Media’s GAYTANAMO and myself do not have that common look of Blacks in mainstream gay porn. Hence my loyalty to Dark Alley Media for being a company closer to mainstream and being open-minded enough to show that variety of Blacks, by showing 3 different types by way of using Jason Tiya, Tony Diamond, and myself, and the variety goes even further by way of their collaboration with Pitbull Productions, “THE SHOW”.

    So my complaint to Michael Lucas was because of the fact that between him and Dark Alley Media, he is the greater power. And while he and the other more powerful studios have the greater power, they have a greater responsiblity to show a diversity of colors as well as a variety within those colors. Just as my being a performer gives me a resposibility that increases with my popularity. That responsibility being to show safer-sex, being that all of the scenarios I’ve done are those of uncommited sex. Therefore, the greater my name becomes with me doing scenes of uncommitted sex, the greater my resposibility to show safer-sex.

     I’m speaking here as a fan, and as a fan I don’t think I’m asking too much to see the variety that comes from realism, instead of seeing the same thing over and over again. Especially considering how this country’s ethnic variety and intermingling is presently growing, shouldn’t our art forms (including porn) reflect that. And because it isn’t is why while I’m a fan of porn (gay, straight, and bi), with mainstream American gay porn, I’m a bored fan. Right now, I just watch it because it’s there. And part of the reason I threw myself in the mix was to help others and myself escape that boredom. So let’s keep this industry exciting. And when we start showing more of a variety of Blacks, let’s start showing some hot Asians, Indians, etc. as well.

The Asian Experience - Part 2

April 29, 2007 on 8:47 am | In Uncategorized, The Asian Experience | 2 Comments

My cell phone rang one summer night, and I knew who ever it was, had an Asian accent. I had no idea who it was because I didn’t recognize the phone number.The guy sounded pleasant enough, somewhat familiar, and he knew my name. Then I asked, “Who is this?”

When he said the name, he put me in shock once again. It was him. My Asian hottie who gave me a fuck I’ll never forget in a single bathroom at Avalon. He then gave me another shock. He was planning on moving back to Hong Kong by the end of the year.

We had a good conversation about what each of us were up to. Then he asked me, “You’ve never been to my apartment, have you?”

I replied, “No”.

“So you want to come over”, he said. “We can have dinner and watch a movie.”

I was all geared up to go to Splash and dance the night away, but I said, “Sure.”

We planned a time, and I went. Completely unsure if this invitation of dinner and a movie included sex. I arrived late, which being the perfectionist I am, bugged me, but he was cool about it.

While eating the dinner that he cooked (very well might I add), he told me that he had been thinking about moving back to Hong Kong for a while now. In fact, he officially made the decision about just before he met me, which explained alot. Such as the reason I stopped calling him was because I felt he wasn’t putting in enough effort to get to know me. At that point, I realized why. His plans for the future were pre-occupied.

He also told me he was spending a lot of time at the beach. Then he proceeded to tell me he had a tan that I would get to see later. Well that answered my question. Sex was included in the invitation to dinner and a movie.

After dinner, we took a shower together, and I got to see how his upper body and lower legs were darker than his butt and thighs. With my thing for wet male bodies, you know I enjoyed soaping him up and rubbing his entire back from the neck on down to his ankles.

After the shower, he gave me a pair of bikini underwear to put on. It was a pair that matched his. He caught himself babbling about how good my ass looked in them. Which I enjoyed, because I knew the more excited he got about my ass, the more intense a fuck he was going to put on me. He then had me lay on a chair that was the width of a love-seat, but long like a twin-size bed. When I layed down, I noticed I could see myself - in a full-length mirror angled in the direction of the chair. Now, I was getting real antsy to get plugged with his rod, because I knew when he started fucking me, I would see his ass flex while he pounded me.

And that’s just the view I got when he started to fuck me. He would sometimes tell me to look in the mirror, which there was no need to. I was seeing just what I wanted to see. His light ass flexing and shaking with each thrust into me. And  me constantly groping his ass.  I kept moaning things like,  “Oh give that dick”, “let me squeeze that ass”, and “Oh Baby, your ass looks so fuckin’ good, work it while you work that dick in me.”

And I didn’t lie. Meanwhile, he’s moaning and sweating with drops falling on me. And when I saw the sweat in the mirror on his back and ass, I really started begging for his dick. And when he came, every final hard thrust was my cue to grab another sweaty body part. His thighs, his ass, his back, I wanted it all.

Afterwards, we layed together on the chair and watched “Alien Resurrection”. So it was a weird order of things. Instead of the usual: dinner, movie, then sex. This time it was - dinner, sex, then the movie.

After the movie, we decided to go to bed. He let me sleep on that huge chair, and he opted to sleep on a day bed in the living room. But a little while later, he came back, and joined me on the chair getting in front of me to spoon with me. We were both laying there with the same pair of underwear on. And as he leaned against me, my dick started getting so hard. I wasn’t a versatile bottom, then. Back then, I was only a bottom. But it was asses like his that made me start experimenting with guys later. For being a man of few regrets, one of those few regrets of mine is that I didn’t grab a condom, slip my hard-on right in between those smooth round mounds, and fuck him senseless just as he pleasingly fucked me. Instead, I fell asleep with a smile on my face because of 1)his body warmth in front of me, 2)my hard cock that wanted to ravish his ass, and 3) even though his cock wasn’t that big, he fucked me with such passion , it felt like his cock was still in my ass.

The next morning, we got up and I wrote down my email address before he walked me out, but we kissed so much after I wrote it down, we both forgot to make him give me his. Before he finally left for Hong Kong, I did run into him a couple of times, and it always slipped my mind. I do however run into a friend of his when I go out dancing, so maybe one day I’ll get it from him. And if I do, should I discover he’s coming here to New York, I may invite him to another tryst, or maybe I’ll just say “Hello”. That’s the funny thing about time passing. You never know.

The Asian Experience

April 27, 2007 on 3:41 pm | In Uncategorized, The Asian Experience | No Comments

       I have talked about how the porn industry should take more note of the sexiness of Asian men. I also spoke of my experiences with Asian men, but never in great detail to show why I want to let the world see me get a fuck of my life by an Asian stud. That is until now.

     The second Asian I was with was someone I dated briefly. Only one date to be exact, but after that date, we remained friends. However, even hanging out as friends, I sensed some sexual tension, and confronted him about those feelings. He said we were friends, but that he does have friends that he hooks up with occasionally. Since he didn’t mention me as one of those possible hook-ups. I thought the coast was clear. And just when I was about to go into another subject, he burst out with, “But I still think about it with you too.”

A part of me knew it, but the other part of me was in shock, and unfortunately the part on shock is what took over my mouth, because I told him the way had a good thing as friends and I wouldn’t want to ruin that. What makes it worse is that I knew I was lying even while saying it. Because as that lie was flying out of my mouth, I was thinking back to how on the night I met him, while we were dancing, I enjoyed rubbing his smooth chest, feeling his well-toned arms, and sneaking a touch of the 1st inch of roundness of his ass, just below his waist. We never spoke of it again, but a few short months later, he got me.

     Back when Avalon had Sundays as their gay night, we ran into each other. From 11 - 12, only the bar was open, then after midnight, they opened the dance floor. We walked around all the floors together, then we got to one of the upper levels. We looked back, and we saw a dark area near the stairwell. He said, “It looks like a dark alley. Maybe they meant for it to look that way.” He then turned to me and started rubbing my chest, and I showed my true feelings and returned the favor by rubbing on his. He then walked away, and went into the bathroom near there. Now, I’m not one for bathroom sex, but I figured, it’s clean, no one’s been in there, so go for it. And he must have been hoping I would, because he left the door unlocked. I walked in and he asked if I had a condom, I told him I did, pulled one out of my pocket, and gave it to him. I didn’t even look down to see his dick. I just turned around dropped my pants, and waited for his cock, however big it was, to open up my tight hole.

     From the second the tip of the head of his cock touched my asshole, I got completely relaxed. Because all the mysteries about him below the waist were about to finally be revealed. I reached back and massaged his balls and played with his pubes while guiding his cock into me. Once he was in, I reached back to massage his ass, and I could feel it flex with each thrust into me. I didn’t realize how much I wanted his cock until I became aggressive and started grinding up and down on his dick. But that was too much for him, because he told me, “Oooh, don’t do that with your ass, because you’re going to make me cum too soon, then I’ll have to go home.”

So I had to for once, just be still and enjoy the sensation of a cock sliding in and out of my hole, and the moans that came from him, because he loved how my tight asshole wrapped around his cock. And it was AWESOME.

     Once he came, I started grinding up against his butt and fondling his sweaty balls and his dick still moist from the mix of cum and lube from the condom, and massaging his thighs as well. I then squatted down, then kissed and licked both ass cheeks. I told him, “I always wanted to know what they looked like naked.”

As you can see to make me reveal my sexual attraction to him like that, when I say ‘he got me’, he really got me.

     Afterwards, we went our separate ways. I hung out with someone else, and so did he. And we didn’t talk to each other for a few months. That is until one summer night, when I was considering going out to Splash, my cell phone rang with the surprise of it being him on the other end.

My Little Death, Interrupted

April 26, 2007 on 9:30 am | In Uncategorized | No Comments

     They say just before you die, your entire life flashes before your eyes. I always wondered unless you’re Haley Joel Osment in “The Sixth Sense”, and you can whisper the claim, “I see dead people”, how do you know that? Then I figured it out. It had to be someone in a situation where death seemed to be coming fast and inevitable, but fate at the very last second said, “Not today.” Situations like that have been known to change some people’s way of life. Most likely because when these people saw their life flash before their eyes, they became extremely aware of all the good, all the bad, all the shoudla-coulda-wouldas, etc. And strange as it may seem, I recently came to realize an extreme awareness of sorts also comes during an orgasm.

     I’m sure you heard it before, how the French have referred to an orgasm as “la petit mort” or “the little death”. And for whatever reason, I’ve never thought much of that expression. In fact, I thought it was foolish. That is until recently. I had a situation that made me realize to call an orgasm “the little death” is not so foolish.

     The situation happened on the set of a movie. I hated my scene partner’s voice. He had that slur to his speech of a major pothead. I got through the sex, and I thought that was all I could take of that voice. It then became time for the cumshot. It started out with him sitting on a chair and me sitting on the floor in front of him. It was taking me forever, and I didn’t know why. Then I started to realize why. I was using a fantasy of my favorite little go-go boy riding my cock to get me off. I usually use my co-star, but with that voice, not today. The whole time, my scene partner is moaning “Oh yeah’s”, and I was able to tune him out. But just as I was nearing my cumshot, my orgasm, my “little death”, an extreme awareness of everything around me kicked in. As an exhibitionsit, the heightened awareness of the eyes on me was getting me off even more, so that wasn’t the problem. But the heightened awareness of that awful voice that I was doing so good before at tuning out made my load scream “Retreat! Retreat!” The director asked what did I need. To not let the sight of my scene partner ruin my fantasy of the go-go boy, I kept face forward, put up 1 finger and told my scene partner, “Don’t talk.”

I sat alone on the chair, without that voice to annoy the fuck out of me, and had one of my best cumshots to date - in less than 5 minutes, if that long. So my little death that was before interrupted, was now my little death, uninterrupted. Therefore, extremely pleasing.

     Just like a real death, with an orgasm (a little death) you don’t get to tell of all the things you became aware of when you actually experience it. How often can you recall during an orgasm, experiencing a feeling or seeing something that you didn’t know of before that orgasm, yet can’t recall the specifics of what you felt and/or saw afterwards, but you know something came to your attention?

     It’s amazing how 2 things that seem so opposite are actually so parallel. With the moments before death being the highest point of existence on Earth, and an orgasm being the highest point of sexual pleasure. And while both bring forth a sense of liberty, for this instance, maybe we should re-do the statement by Patrick Henry in 1775 of “Give me liberty, or give me death.”

In this case, let’s make it “Give me liberty, with many little deaths.”

No Slutty, Slutty Friday, But…..Realizations

April 22, 2007 on 2:08 pm | In Uncategorized, PornStar's life | 10 Comments

Well, it was a Slutty, Slutty Friday, but not at Bana due to the fact that it was cancelled. Which means I made up for it elsewhere, but I won’t get into that. There’s something more insightful I want to discuss with you.

In thinking about all the sexiness that goes on at Bana, I started rehashing the details about my playtime with that worker in the steam room. One detail that won’t leave my mind is how when me and him, a white guy, walked in there together, everyone left. I didn’t even realize that everyone totally cleared out of the steam room until I moved further away from the door, because if you recall, we started making out less than a yard away from the door. I thought to myself, why did everyone leave? When some white guys are making out, it usually becomes a show that you either want to be a part of or get off on watching to see what happens next. So what made them clear out this time, with the next thing you know being that I’m surrounded by shadows and sounds from guys getting off on the sight of me enjoying getting my ass pounded? Is the sight of me having sex that special? If so, why? And since this is not the first time people crowded around like that when I’m being sexual at a sexy party, I used all the evidence and figured out why.

It’s not the sight of me having sex that is so special. It’s the sight of seeing a contradiction of the naive belief of theirs that Black men don’t bottom. So to see any Black man being a bottom for a White man catches their attention. And to all those find a Black bottom so strange, before I go on, I have this note for you:

HEY DUMB ASS, THERE ARE BLACK COUPLES OUT THERE. THEREFORE, SOMEONE IS A TOP AND SOMEONE IS A BOTTOM, OR BOTH ARE VERSATILE. A LITTLE THING CALLED COMMON SENSE (INSTEAD OF SELF-ABSORPTION) WOULD HAVE LONG AGO STEERED YOU TO TOWARDS THIS REALIZATION. THANK YOU!

If you recall, the same thing happened at the AllMaleParty.com event when Matt Hyland fucked me. Guys left watching another couple of guys fucking perpendicular to us on the bed to watch me and Matt go at it. Besides the fact that our moans more than clearly showed that he enjoyed my ass just as much as I enjoyed his cock, I knew there was something else drawing them to watch us. Just as they watched the Asian guy who fucked me later on. You see, when I first got there that night, that Asian guy was topping someone, so he became the center of attention twice that night, and I believe for the very same reason, naivete. The naive belief that a little Asian wouldn’t top, especially on a bigger person.

As much as I love my porn, I am more than aware that the mainstream porn studios play a big part in these misconceptions. After all, if you have an attraction to a certain race but don’t see many in person to explore that attraction, then what are you going to use to give you some idea of what that other race is like sexually? Porn. And the misrepresentation of Blacks in mainstream porn have made the me into an oddity. All because I’m a Black man who is small-framed and more of a bottom. And it has done the same disservice to Asians among other races as well. Which goes to show how (probably without even knowing it) many studios entertaining is sometimes actually used as a needed educational tool, so they have a responsibility to educate the audience with some truth within that fantasy.

What makes this so unacceptable is because any race being misrepresented is an insult being that we all make up a big part of the industry’s buying public. So as a THANK YOU to fans, I feel studios should take note in the variety of bodies and positions of minorities, just as they do their White counterparts.

The last time I met with Michael Lucas, he asked what kind of kinky things I was into because “people don’t want to see just fucking anymore”. I beg to differ, because based on the situations I mentioned earlier, they do want to see fucking, but from more of a variety of people, and not always in the same position. Those aforementioned experiences showed me that people are getting bored with seeing a twink fuck a twink, a daddy fuck a twink, a bear fuck a preppy, a buffed Black guy always being a top, or living in America watching American porn and seeing no Asian-Americans at all, etc. I guess until mainstream porn studios gets a clue, the only way you’ll get to see more small-framed Blacks or versatile Asians is to see us at a sex party. Which might be better, because this way you know for certain that we can actually fuck without the help of great editing.

As I always try to give credit where credit is due, I will say that Pitbull and Dark Alley Media collaborating to make “The Show” was a display of 2 studios that got the clue. And it’s success, more so than it’s being a GayVN Award-winning production, proved that the mainstream porn buying public wants more of this. And don’t take my word for it. After all, it’s still on the JRL Charts for goodness sakes.

I believe this is where I say, “Point made”.

This change may be happening. I just hope more quickly and surely, instead of the usual slowly but surely.

It’s amazing how such realizations can come from 1 little diversion in plans.

Slutty, Slutty Friday

April 17, 2007 on 2:50 pm | In Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Well, there’s Bloody, Bloody Sunday. And now come this Friday, it will be Slutty, Slutty Friday because Daniel Nardicio of DList.com is throwing another Bana Pool party. I, of course can’t resist even though I CANNOT SWIM. So why am I going? To satisfy another kink of mine that I’ll be getting into at a later date. Remember, I love the sight of a hot guy’s body being all wet, which considering what I witnessed at the past 2 Bana parties I went to, THERE WILL BE HOT GUYS A PLENTY. Whoo-hoo!
It will most definitely be a slutty Friday, because the last time I went if you recall (much to some of your chagrin), I got fucked for many to see in the steam room by a guy who was working there, and it was my pleasure to bring so much pleasure to his break. Be it for me to break the usual routine, because the actual fucking usually goes on in a dark area.
The first time I went, I hated the swim trunks I was wearing. They were actually swim shorts that came down to my knee, and were not made for a guy with an ass that protrudes like mine. When someone wanted to fool around with me, those things were hell to get down. So for the next party, I definitely needed a change.

Remember this hot number?

I saw this suit, and thought I could have fun with this because against my skin tone, one’s initial glance would make people think I’m naked, until they notice the orange stripes. And it did get me a lot of attention, because the steam room was just 1 example of my fun that night. I also stroked a few cocks, massaged some hot asses, and topped a guy as well. In fact right now, I’m fondly remembering the hot ass I massaged in the jacuzzi. If you’re going to have the combo package, he had the one I want - a nice soft round ass and a thick cock I wanted to ride to the point of making it erupt with jizz like a volcano all over me. So Hot Stuff, if you’re reading this, and I see you Friday, know that whether there or somewhere else - IT’S ON.

This time around, you would think that because I can’t swim, I should just stick to my one hot suit, right. WRONG! I ordered one online from N2N Bodywear, this past Friday. Take a look at this number:

First off, I liked the mesh. But what made this my pick was what I didn’t see right away.

It’s not all mesh except for the crotch. It’s mesh from the left side of the crotch to the middle of the backside. The rest is solid. I thought that was unique (like me), so I had to have it.

Well, let’s see how much heads turn on this one. I’m upppin’ the ante here, boys. Brace for impact!
Or should I brace for impact, because of an ass-pounding I may get during or after the party because of that suit?
If you come to the party, you might find out.

Correction, Muscum!

April 15, 2007 on 6:07 pm | In Uncategorized | 4 Comments

I took some offense to this comment from Muscum from “You Are Sex!”:

why are these desperate lurks of vultures eying YOU as their sexual prey? u trying to say that all these guys want you? or do u go to places where u think you’re gonna get all the attention.

I took offense to this because, this comment makes me appear as if I’m an arrogant jackass thinking I’m THE SHIT, so I know every guy is lurking around to get to fuck me senseless. From what you have read, and especially if you’ve met in person and held a conversation with me, you know that I am in no way arrogant about my looks. I am actually a bit insecure. If I am arrogant, it is not about who I am on the outside, but who I am on the inside. Although, I had a friend tell me that he doesn’t see it as arrogance, but self-confidence. I love him for that.

Muscum, that comment goes to a guy like Igor writing a blog, because he’s the one arrogant about his looks, and makes it the focus of getting someone. Hence, the reason he’s no longer a part of my life, because I’ll be friends with an arrogant person who is arrogant about who they are in their heart. Your comment was made for a superficial asshole like him, not a man (or at least the extent of one I try to be) like myself.

Therefore, I don’t go to places purposely to get attention. It just happens, as it does for so many others. Do I think I’m a good-looking guy? I think I’m OK, but I’m not SUPER HOTTIE. And I don’t take those people lurking at me so personally, because 1)that’s how the ego gets inflated to the point of you not being worth a damn; and 2)I read people, and in reading those guys, their pursuit of me was not completely out of finding me attractive, but out of desperation to satisfy their horniness. Now, being the self-professed horndog that I am, and due to a lack of control of it, I know that look because I’ve had it. And by looking at other people, I looked at myself, and realized, that look scares most people off. So my rule is if I go out and a cutie with a good vibe comes along, cool. If not, then I’ll take my horny ass home, put in a porno or fantasize about being fucked by the hot go-go boy whose soft ass I felt to help my intended fantasy along, and jerk-off 2 or more times before I get out of bed to start my new day.

This was necessary to respond to because, the comment that followed was following Muscum’s faulty lead. Now, I entitle you to your opinions, but on my blog, when I see a misconception spread to any degree in another person’s comment, I will respond to correct it FULLY. Thank you.

Getting Out The Kinks: Fitting Shirts Only

April 14, 2007 on 1:21 pm | In Uncategorized, Getting Out The Kinks | 5 Comments

     We all have kinks, and some are more common then others. And as this may become a series, I decided to start off with one kink that I have that I haven’t really heard anybody else mention. I have a thing for seeing guys naked with only a shirt on. I don’t mean a sweater, dress shirt, or loose-fitting shirt. I mean a guy wearing a t-shirt, tank top, regular or form-fitting shirt that comes above, at, or slightly below the waistline.  There is just something about a  hot guy wearing that that makes me  so ready  to service his dick and ass with my hands and mouth.
     I’m always trying to figure out why I like what I like. Trust me, I don’t analyze it to the point of taking the fun out of it.  But it’s fun to figure out the appeal of that specific kink. In this case, I think it’s because that shirt blocks out the details of the torso. Don’t get me wrong, a guy with a gut will never appeal to me with this kink of mine, I like a fit torso. But that shirt blocks out whether or not he has a six-pack, chest hair, or birthmarks, etc. My focus on a hot guy is his ass and his dick, in that order. I’ve said it many times, I can go for a good-looking guy with a nice ass and a small dick long before going for a guy with a big dick and no ass.

     While doing my solo shows for Showguys.com, I was always watching a Kristen Bjorn video. And of those 3 videos for those 3 solo shows, I bought 2 of them, “Thick As Thieves” and “Crossroads Of Desire”. “Thick As Thieves” was what I jerked off to for my first show. My  kink for wet hot guys is what got discovered there (that’s another entry for this series). But when I watched the movie at home, another scene caught my eye, maybe even more so. The scene that these vidcaps are from.

In every scene I’ve seen this guys, he’s a bottom. And as with all bottom that I would love to top me, I so want to eat out that protruding ass and suck his hard cock before I let him fuck me into oblivion. Of course, he has to keep that t-shirt on so that he sweats so much that everything below the waist just glistens from being all wet.

 

     My next show for Showguys.com was when I saw “Crossroads To Desire”. Obviously, there are so many HOT bottoms I want to top me, because the guy in the middle is another.

In fact, keeping that fantasy of him fucking me with that shirt on is what gave me a cumshot that made me erupt like a volcano. I remember the host, Sam saying after one stream of cum was already running down my hand, “And he’s still cumming!”

     I know right about now, I seem more freaky than you originally thought I was. OR I’ve opened your mind to something you never thought about before. Why don’t you try it sometime? Maybe you need a few more pics for inspiration.

From “Love Of The Dick 3″ from Pitbull Producitons

 

From “Porn Zone” from Oh Man! Studios

And lastly, some studs I found posted on my friend’s blogspot, “Men Of Color“.

Until next time, ENJOY!

You Are Sex!

April 12, 2007 on 9:49 am | In Uncategorized | 3 Comments

     I went to Splash this past Friday night. I was dancing, and this White guy caught my eye. Being my shy self, I didn’t stare at him, so it was only a glance. To my surprise, a lot was said in that glance. About a minute later, he danced his way over to me, and said, “You’re so sexy.”
 
I flashed him a smile, said “Thank you”, and let him go back to his friends.

     After moving from place to place on the dance floor for about an hour to avoid being closed in and made uncomfortable by the desperate lurks of vultures eying me as their sexual prey, I wound up near this White guy again, but this time he was alone. We exchanged glances again. But this time we exchanged them repeatedly, and each time, we danced sideways until we were face to face. Although, he did speak to me earlier, I didn’t take note of his accent. But there were other things that made me assume he was European.
     I don’t know what are the differences between American and European cultures that make these differences in many White men, but whatever they are, they’re the reason I go crazy for European White men more often than American. Those differences are 1)more European men seem to have a better sense of rhythm than American White men, and 2)more European men seem to have asses that I SO BADLY want to lick the hole, bury my face between the cheeks, and give a butt massage he’ll never forget, then let him fuck me until he just can’t get it up anymore.

And this guy definitely had those signs of being European. In fact, it turned out he was a Russian who lives in Denmark. So he was here on vacation. DAMN! And I know many (if not all) of you are thinking “another Igor”. Remember the saying, “one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch.” Keep that in mind, people.

     When I first really watched him dance, I was hooked. You see, I always equate being a good dancer with being a good lover. That’s why I jerk off to the few go-go boys who can actually dance. My experience has been that knowing how to fuck, and having a body that can catch a rhythm go hand in hand. Even when you’re pounding an ass or riding a dick hard like there’s no tomorrow. So as you can tell, my imagination went everywhere with this guy after seeing his moves.
     As we danced closer we started feeling each others’ bodies. Knowing that I could have let him pounded my ass right there on the dance floor without a care, I let him lead the progress of how we touched each other. When his hand went on my ass, I was so happy because it was my sign to cop a feel of his juicy Euro-butt.
     While we were dancing, he said something that really threw me for a second.

He said, “You’re so sexy. YOU ARE SEX! Y-Y-You’re all of it! The whole thing!”

Yes, I know it’s a line, and a damn good one, you must admit. But what threw me about it was the fact that I was there as my real everyday self, and not putting on the “Tré Xavier” persona, (like all porn actors) portraying myself as the epitome of sex. To hear that when I’m just being an “Average Joe” hanging out in the club was weird for me. No one has ever said those words to me even when they’re groping me at an appearance.

I actually said to myself, “Where am I?  I’m just everyday me hanging out at Splash. I’m not go-go dancing. I only did that once last year at Will  Clark’s and DJ Randy Bettis’ Birthday Bash. So Tré Xavier is not in the building tonight.”

It also made me think, is that the sexual aura I carry around all the time? Is that why so many guys were trying to close in on me throughout the night? My conclusion about it was 1)since it was a line that he probably didn’t mean whole-heartedly, don’t take it too seriously, therefore letting it inflate my sexual ego, because after all, aren’t we all sex in some way; and 2)stop thinking so much about it. It was one-night of fun dancing and making out so passionately with a hot guy on the dance floor and against the pillars, that we were the envy of many. Leave it at that.

The guy later on said to me, “I want to make love to you.”

I said, “Where do you suppose we go?”
 
He told me that he was staying with friends, and I told him that I lived all the way in Jersey City. Besides, taking him home with me would mean that I would have to guide him all the way back to Manhattan. Remember, he’s not from here, and that’s too much work to have to do afterwards just so one can get a good night of fucking like rabbits. Having no idea as to whether he could get a hotel room just for the night, I didn’t suggest it, or the fact that West Side Club is just a few blocks north of Splash. So again, I told myself, “Leave it at that”.

     Splash closed at 4 AM, and we left just 15 minutes before that. We walked each other to the train station, and kissed “Goodbye” there. They say you never forget your first. And even though I have no intention of taking him saying “You are sex” to heart, the fact that he’s the first to say it to me in any capacity makes him unforgettable.

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